Secrets

5

I could've died today. I wouldn't have seen them ever again. I know that they are safe with me.

So if I die nothing will change. The pain will be gone. I was in the bed between Jasper and Conan.

Each had their arm around my waist. I mean let's weigh our options. I could jump of the roof. I could cut myself.

I could eat or drink poison. Oh I could fall down the stairs. I don't know which one to choose from. I mean I once tried the roof nothing happened.

I mean it. I fall with my chest. All the air got knocked out. Jasper gave me pumps and done back to normal.

Poison isn't an option because where the fuck am I going to get it from.? Cutting isn't an option. I tried it Hult saved me after that he raped me for the first time.

He took my virginity. Something that made me pure. Stairs yes stairs. I haven't tried that. No . Maybe? No stop it Cecilia stop.

It was 6 am and I still couldn't sleep. What if I slept and then Anis came and attacked me.

I got out of bed and went to rooftop. I sat there hugging my knees. What would life be like if we didn't get adopted?

How did we end up there in the first place? Are they pretending? Well the abuse us? Will we enjoy it here?

Will I ever be able to meet them? it's been two and a half months. I have two weeks before we meet. Most importantly will I ever be happy?

I felt someone's presence behind me. I closed my eyes hoping it's someone I know. "Baby girl are you okay?" I sigh a sigh of relief.

I turned around and saw dad. I gave a small smile and nodded. He sat down next to me with my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so glad you guys are home" he said. I'm glad I don't have to deal with Hult. But I won't lie the only reason I'm still alive is I don't know where.

We sat there for what felt like a few minutes but it was an hour. We got up and went to our rooms. There I showed and wore swag pants and a oversized hoodie.

Conan went to take a shower as Jasper re stitched my now open wounds. I whimpered. I bit my lip trying to suppress my pain.

Hey I know that it's self harm but I can't help it. After Conan was done Jasper went in and I did his wounds.

All of us had server wounds that wouldn't heal. They keep hurting and reopening. Plus my period pains.

Tell me about that. Conan came out and I did his. "you can go down I'll wash my hands and join" I said.

They walked out and I went to the bathroom. I quickly washed my hands.

I walked downstairs and midway I bumped into Archie. I slipped and fell. I rolled down the stairs.

I felt my body go numb.