Life After Near Death

Warmth of Summer, Cold of Winter

"What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness."

― John Steinbeck

The surgery on Gray's spine was successful. His internal organs finally healed, and after four months in the hospital, the doctors deemed him well enough to return home. He was in a wheelchair, though. Despite the successes and medical miracles, Gray could only walk for a few minutes, and then he needed crutches, dragging his dead leg along. Replacing the leg was still an open option, but for now Gray suffered through it. He remembered seeing Ur and the ice leg she created to replace what Deliora took from her. He really did not want to lose a leg like she had...

... Even if that meant his leg was useless.

It was no surprise that he missed the S-Class trials that December. His only reprieve was that Natsu was not picked this time. When the Dragon Slayer loudly protested, Makarov explained that he felt Natsu needed more time to mature. In the end, no one passed.

Winter was Gray's favorite time of the year, but wheeling himself around in the snow was too difficult. He watched the white world from his window, staring out at the holiday lights, listening to carolers, and glaring coldly at all the fun he was missing.

On New Year's Eve, Juvia insisted that he had to come to the guild, and despite his protests, she wheeled him there. Everyone was happy to see him, they were in the midst a big party, but Gray did not feel like celebrating. Although Natsu ran up to him, flinging compliments and insults mixed together, Gray knew all he could do was shout at the Dragon Slayer.

He could not fight. Not anymore.

Plenty of people came up to him. He had missed them, but he hated the sad looks in their eyes. He hated how they looked at the wheelchair first, and then to his legs, and finally up to his eyes. He hated having to look up at everyone.

When he pulled out his crutches and stood, Mira and Lisanna began to fret over him. He felt anger boiling inside. Even if his left leg was dead and he could barely feel the right leg, he could at least stand up. Then Elfman slammed a hand on his back, saying that fighting to overcome injuries was manly, but that powerful strike knocked Gray over. Mira caught him, and Juvia rushed forward with the wheelchair. Gray did not bother to try standing again.

They counted down until midnight. Juvia asked if she could kiss him, and Gray placidly let her. She was thrilled beyond belief that Gray finally gave her a New Year's kiss. Then Cana also kissed him, surprising Gray with lips-and tongue-tasting strongly of beer, which led to a fight between her and one hellishly enraged Juvia. Gray watched as Natsu was about to kiss Lucy, and she held up Happy to hide from his attempt. However, then Loke appeared in a flash and stole a kiss from her anyway.

It was such a typical Fairy Tail party, but Gray felt like he was a stain on everyone's happiness, stuck there in his chair, watching the happiness around him, while he was stuck in his bubble of uselessness and depression.

As always, a fight broke out. Gray wanted to join in. He flung balls of ice at people, but when he got hit and nearly knocked backwards in his chair, Juvia fretfully wheeled him out of the fray. She stood in front of Gray and protected him with her water.

He could not even join in with a simple brawl. Others had to protect him.

"Juvia," he said softly. "It's after midnight. Take me home."

Juvia's eyes lit up. "Gray-sama wants to take Juvia home?"

"I want you to take me to my house. Then leave!"