Blood of the Broken, Scars of the Spiral (there are whirlpools in our veins)

Chapter Twenty Five

"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered."

― Michael J. Fox

//

Naruto wasn't sure how long Shimura left him in the white room, depriving him of food and water in order to confuse and weaken him, to shift his resolve, to make him compliant. He only knew it must be days. The lighting never changed from bright and glaring and he lagged in his restraints, feeling the painful ache of them. He had been forced to piss himself many hours back and the humiliation of it still burned, despite the relief it had brought. He was just grateful his recent lack of appetite meant he had yet to feel the urge to shit.

He retreated to his mindscape when he could, but it grew harder to focus as the hours passed and time began to warp and stretch around him. He quickly grew confused and disorientated as the shakiness of exhaustion set in, his eyelids fluttering, his eyes unable to focus, yet with the terrible thirst and every shift in position causing his arms to scream in agony, he found true rest impossible to reach.

Even when he managed to focus enough to retreat to his mindscape, he felt little better. At least Mito's hands were cool against his fevered forehead as he lay slumped against his ancestress, eyes closed and breathing shallow. Something in Naruto felt as if it were fraying apart, like the threads of a tapestry unraveling. The uncertainty, the fear, it was everywhere. It had sunk deep into his blood and bone and he felt as if he would never be free of it again.

"Do you think I'm going to die here?" He asked softly, blinking tiredly up at Mito.

Mito smoothed her hand over Naruto's forehead again, her green eyes dark and deadly as any ocean storm, while Kurama snarled and paced furiously. "You will not," she said, and Naruto could hear the echoes of the princess, the ruler, she had once been in her voice.

"That's good," Naruto said with a quiet sigh, letting her eyes close again. "I don't wanna die, but maybe it'd be better if I did. They couldn't hurt me anymore and it'd be like one last 'fuck you' to the village, ya know."

"I'm so sorry, angelfish," Mito said wretchedly.

"I'm scared," he whispered, and hated the way his voice trembled in his fear, "I'm really scared."

"Oh sweet boy," Mito whispered, tears glittering in her eyes, "you are so brave."

But it wasn't comforting in the slightest. Not when he could feel the shinigami looming over his shoulder.

"You need a different approach with Shimura," Kurama said suddenly, with no explanation for the abrupt breaking of their tense silence.

"I-okay?" Naruto said, confused, blinking over at Kurama. They swished their tails agitatedly. Naruto was gratified to see that at least Mito looked just as confused by Kurama's reaction.

"Kitsune are foxes," Kurama told him and smiled; all sharp, terrible fangs, and dripping crimson. "We are tricksters, liars, seductresses. You may be human, of your mothers pathetic flesh, but you sat with me for ten moons. You suckled on my chakra the way others breathed in amniotic-fluid. You are mine." They grined,"You are a vulpine too. Shimura believes he can break you? Then let him believe it. Let him see you shatter to pieces and let him bear witness to himself piecing you back together in an image of his own choosing. Let him see exactly what it is he wants to see, just as the kitsune who wears the guise of a fair maiden does, hiding her tails beneath her silks so as to steal the wisdom of men through her kiss."

"I know how to bend without breaking," Naruto said quietly, for that was a lesson hard-earned as world came blow after blow against everything he loved, how he had hidden his tears of rage, "but how will that help me? I might be a fox, or I guess a vulpine, like you said, but I'mma a vulpine in a snare."