Carnations (Wrong Number)

Stripping and Marriage

You
I should quit
my job and become a
stripper

Evan
Wtf?
Are you okay?
Also, are you even attractive
enough to be a stripper?
What brought this on??

You
Strippers are stacked

Evan
True
Are you okay tho??

You
You bring up a good point
Hotness
You should be a stripper
and I should be your token wife

Evan
????
No??
I don't wanna strip

You
But think about how much money
you would make
Especially cuz you've done main
character stuff
And like your kinda famous
Wait
Do you do main character work
in pornos???

Evan
No
Gods no
I have a Disney contract
I don't do pornos

You
Haha
My Disney contract doesn't
stop me from doing pornos

Evan
Way to brag
Just stop being an animator

You
Its CGI
And once you get out of your contract
do pornos, be a stripper

Evan
At this rate, my contract
isn't gonna end until 2025

You
Dam
That's kinda too old to start stripping
Unless....

Evan
Unless.... what?

You
You become a dilf

Evan
Uhm no
If I ever become a dilf,
it would be with my wife

You
You have a wife???

Evan
....not yet

You
Dam that sucks

Evan
Are you married??

You
When was this about me??
I'm friends with a fucking Minecraft
streamer cuz he's my besties
little brother
What part of that would make it
seem like I'm married??

Evan
Idk maybe you're married
to the little brother

You
Ewww
Wait
That would make Minnie my sister
Magnus get yo gay ass over here

He said no
I am not married

Evan
DAM
WAIT
aren't we married?
Or did we get a divorce??

You
Not counting frickin internet
marriages
OOOOOOHH

Evan
What??

You
You do interviews and press tours
for your pornos??

Evan
THEY'RE NOT
Y'know what?
Whatever
Yes, I do those things

You
Oh hell yeah
If we ever meet, we should
get hitched in Vegas and like
only tell friends/family
Then you continue to do your
actor stuff until your contract
is up but tell absolutely no one
you're married or even technically
in a relationship
Until the very end
Which you let it drop that you've
been married for years
The world freaks out
During that time, we have a demon,
I mean, a child and turn you into a
dilf
Then after your contract ends,
you become a porno dilf

Evan
That's an absolutely
ridiculously stupid idea

You
But???

Evan
We are doing it
100%
It would be so funny

You
There would be a few problems
tho
1. We would be married
2. We would have a child
3. There's a chance Disney won't
let you be a dilf stripper

Evan
Ah true
For the marriage thing,
there's divorce
I dunno what would happen
to the child
And I will make sure Disney
lets me be a dilf stripper

You
BuT dIVorCe WoULd bE Bad
PrESs

Evan
If I'm a dilf stripper, it
would probably be better if
I was single

You
Nope
You are my husband
Fiance technically

Evan
Technically fiance
We should figure out
some of the problems with
the plan tho
Like:
1. The paparazzi
2. One of our friends leaks it
3. Someone finds out
4. We meet not in Vegas
Y'know that type of thing

You
Ooh yeah
Let's get back to this idea then

~~~~Twather~~~~

Chris Evans @ChrisEvans
What's stopping me from becoming
a stripper?
Fricken Disney
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