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"Her tears were like drops of fire, melting the ice around his heart."
~ Unknown

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Amira woke up in the morning to find herself in Ali's arms. She tried to move but couldn't, and her trial woke up Ali, too. They both felt embarrassed and quickly got up. Amira went to the bathroom to freshen up while Ali sat on the bed, feeling uneasy about the whole situation. When Amira came out, Ali went to freshen up as well. They didn't say anything to each other, but Amira could sense that Ali was uncomfortable, too. She went to help with breakfast. After getting ready, he also went downstairs for breakfast.

"Ali, is the presentation for today ready?" Sam started a random conversation. Ali nodded lightly.

"Amira. When is your university starting? I don't remember the vacations being so long?" Aabid said, slightly confused. Amira had wide eyes. She didn't have the guts to ask money for her studies. She was gonna talk to her father today about it.

"I haven't had the time to apply for the semester yet."

"Haven't had the time? And what kept you this busy?" She heard Faisal's mocking tone. "Probably if you waste less time on those useless novels and more on your studies and yourself, you wouldn't be in this situation!" Amira looked down. She knew he mocked her weight.

"Asif, Faisal, Abram, come sit." Ayesha invited them over. They all talked randomly. Amira's hunger was away by now. She ate the food just for the sake of not wasting it. She soon left the table, and almost everyone left, too.

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"I want to meet Noah Afzal." Amira was completely clueless about the office. The receptionist looked at her weirdly. "You have an appointment?" Amira nodded her head in no. "Then sorry. You can't meet him. Get lost. And moreover this place is not for charity!" Amira looked down. Her simple dress was to be blamed. "I am his daughter. Can you please show me the cabin?" The receptionist rolled her eyes. "Yeah and I am the Queen of England! Get lost, bloody beggar, before I call the security." Amira got tears. Everyone was looking at them and talking about her.

"You're not the Queen of England but definitely FIRED!" There was a familiar, harsh, and firm voice. Amira looked back to see Ali and Raiyyan standing there. Ali's stern gaze was at the receptionist, whose colour was faded by now.

"Sir? Why am I being fired?" The receptionist was scared for her job.

"For talking like this to uncle's daughter!" The receptionist looked at her shocked. "SHE?" Ali threw another glare towards the receptionist, asking her to get lost. Amira was too stunned to speak at all. The receptionist was thrown out literally. Raiyyan walked up to her while pulling Ali.

"You here suddenly? Is everything fine?" Raiyyan was curious and yet soft. "I wanted to talk to Papa." Amira was conscious about Ali's glance and presence. Raiyyan described her the way, and she left. "Ali, chal! (Ali, come!)" "You go. I will come after a while. I have to give Asif something!" He left from there. "Asif? But he's out with Ahana?!" Raiyyan murmured to himself. He smirked and then left.

Amira was at Noah's cabin. "Papa." Noah looked up to her. "HOW DARE YOU ENTER WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?" Amira flinched at his voice. "I...I wanted to talk to you." Amira's eyes were teary again. She was sensitive to harshness. "I don't have time. Speak up fast or get lost!" Amira tried to compose herself. "Papa, I need money..." Noah looked frustrated. "Earn it if you need it!" "Papa, I have to submit my fees. I need it as a loan. Please, Papa!" Amira literally felt like some beggar, mostly after what the receptionist said. "JUST GET LOST! What will you even do by studying? You're just a girl. A fucking burden on us!" Amira had no more guts to stand there. She was too scared.

Amira ran out from there. Her tears flew down. She found a hidden spot behind the staircase and slipped down there. Her hand covered her mouth and she cried out with silent sobs. She was used to this but it hurted everything they said this on her face. Her sight was blurred by her tears when she felt a hand in front of her. She looked at the person to see her husband forwarding a handkerchief. She was shocked to see it.

"Take it!" Amira took it and wiped her tears. "Go home! We will talk at home. I don't want to see you here again." Saying this he walked away. Amira gulped the lump in her throat. She made herself presentable, controlling her cries and went outside. She looked in her purse to see some mere rupees.

"Walk or rickshaw? Fuck. Why didn't I work these days?" She makes faces. Amira started to search for a rickshaw, which seemed literally impossible because obviously, it was a posh area. Why would there be a rickshaw? She started to walk tiredly when a car screeched in front of her. She looked at it with a frown. The door opened, and she saw her husband on the driving seat.

"Get inside!"
"It's fine. I will manage." Amira was pretty uncomfortable.
"I don't like repeating myself!" She gulped and sat there. He drove off.

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Amira was emotionally drained over the whole day. Reading in the garden, after confiding her heart towards her diary, gave her at least some peace. She heard a car pulling in and stood up. She hoped that her brother shouldn't be there. Else, she's probably in deep shit. She went out to see Ali walking in while holding his head. He stumbled lightly. She frowned to see no one. Without thinking, she went forward and wrapped her arm around his waist, putting his arm on her shoulder. Ali looked at her.

"Thank god, there's no strong alcohol smell today." Amira was talking to herself loudly. Ali was amused to hear this. She was sure that he was drunk. Amira led him to their room and made him sit on the bed. Without uttering a word, she took his shoes off and made him lie. She sat beside him and pressed his head. Amira was too drained to notice him not being drunk. It didn't take her long to fall asleep beside him with her hand on his forehead.

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Diary Entry - [03.09.23]

Dear Diary,

Today I have been the closest to Ali since our marriage. The morning was unexpected as I found myself entangled in an awkward situation with Ali. Waking up in his arms, a knot of embarrassment twisted in my stomach. We both avoided eye contact with an unspoken discomfort hanging in the air. A silent agreement seemed to settle between us as we went about our morning rituals. I wonder if this mattered to him and occupied his thoughts or whether he's all casual about it. The tension lingered like an unwelcome guest.

Breakfast poured more to our underlying awkwardness. No words passed between us, yet the unspoken tension spoke volumes. My appetite was overshadowed by the discomfort that clouded the room. And then Bhai's remark about my weight and studies. I messed up by not working. If only I could correct this mistake. At least I hoped papa would help. But looks I was miserably wrong once again.

The encounter with the receptionist was a strong reminder of my perceived status, or lack of it. Mocked for my appearance and treated like an intruder, I felt the sting of judgment pierce through me. The talk with papa intended for a straightforward question, turned into a humiliation. Papa's harsh words cut deep and they're still echoing in my ears. The tears that welled up were not just for the denial of financial assistance but for the continuous dismissal of my worth.

Retreating to a hidden corner, I allowed the tears to flow freely, seeking refuge from the harshness of reality. I didn't expect Ali to still be there. His gesture made me wonder if my tears matter or he just doesn't want anyone to see her vulnerable state. As he instructed me to go home, the words fel carint and yet harsh. The journey home was suffocating, the air heavy with unspoken words and unmet expectations. I wanted to ask him why he was helping me but I stayed quiet rather.

Tonight, as I pen down these words, another hurricane of emotions swirl within me – humiliation, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of being trapped in a life not of my choice. The facade of normalcy is cracking, revealing the harsh reality beneath.

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