Shadows of the Past

Chapter 6 - Baby Steps

The steady fall of the rain is in sync with her heartbeat. Madhu looks out of the window of the car, momentarily resisting the temptation to open the window and feel the cold drizzle on her skin. For one brief moment, she wants to feel and relish the rain, hoping it would wash away the cold, hard exterior that she wears like an armor. However the desire quickly vanishes and she warily looks Bittuji, driving the car, clueless to her thoughts. Ever since RK has created his own production company, Bittuji has been kept extremely busy and away from his family. He rarely visited RK Mansion and sometimes she wondered if he has lost the inclination to spend time with her because he found out that the miscarriage was a lie. She had often wondered if she had lost her brother's support by agreeing to have an abortion. He must feel utter disgust at her selfish, disgraceful act. And why shouldn't he? She was a mother but did nothing to protect her unborn child; she is not worthy of anyone's love.

But Madhu is confused and does not know what to make of his sudden appearance this morning. Bittuji shows up at 11 am, on the dot, and whisks her away on a drive to supposedly scout out a new location for outdoor shooting. She stares at him suspiciously, after the debacle of their first movie, Madhu never got involved in anything related to the business. And it was an unspoken rule to not involve her either. Yet he wants her opinion on the location, knowing she does not even know the plot of the movie and nor does she have the experience and the trained eyes to know if the spot would work. Nonetheless, she is happy to be taken along on the scout. She has been feeling so alone, for so long, maybe Bittuji, who has always been her confidant, will temporarily rescue her from the malaise.

Bittuji pulls up in front of a white washed, nondescript building and parks the car. Madhu hesitates to step out of the car, eyeing the surrounding dubiously. She steps out of the car and asks suspiciously, "Bittuji is this the place you wanted to check out for the outdoor shooting? This does not seem like the sort of place RK would ever consider for any of his movies."

Bittuji holds the door open for her to enter the building as he stammers, "Umm...Bhabiji. Chief is looking for a non-glamorous, hole in the wall type of place because the story requires it. You know Chief. He will do anything to ensure the movie is a success and made with integrity, even if it brings him discomfort."

Madhu follows sedately behind Bittuji and responds in a low voice, "I am well aware of how your Chief is willing to sacrifice anything and everything for the sake of his movie."

Standing in front of the entrance of a clear glass door through which she can clearly see is a reception area for a doctor's office. Her eyes scan over to the sign on the side of the door and it confirms for Madhu; Bittuji brought her to a doctor. She glares accusingly at him and demands, "Why did you bring me here Bittuji?"

She holds up her hand and stalls his response and adds, "And please do not say that this is the location that has been selected for outdoor shooting. Please don't insult my intelligence. I may not know much about films but I did grow up amongst a filmy family. I know any office scenes can be easily recreated in the studio and no production house would spend the sort of money to move the entire crew to a location unless it is beautiful, exotic and cannot be simulated in the green room."

Bittuji shakes his head morosely and states quietly, "I would never insult your intelligence bhabiji. I am sorry that I lied to you to bring you here. But it had to be done."

Madhu folds arms across her chest and asks, "Why the subterfuge, the false pretense to have me see a doctor when you could have been direct?"

Bittuji takes a deep breath, silently praying that Madhu will listen to his explanation and would be willing to give counseling a chance. He responds, "I know what Chief made you do; he confessed his sin the other day. He compelled you to abort your unborn child. Knowing the kind of woman you are bhabiji, I know that you have been living in a personal hell this last one year. You don't have to tell me, I know that you have been mentally beating yourself up for giving in to your superstar husband's selfish demand to have an abortion. I also know that you blame yourself for not protecting your unborn child even though it's not your fault. The burden is not yours, you did not commit a sin by having an abortion. I brought you here so you would seek counseling and find peace and then get back your happy. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you bhabiji."