Mess of a life

11- On top of the World

We excited the store with a heavy bag of electronics and too many pounds less on Elliott's bank account. Not that it seemed to bother him in the slightest, because to my great horror he didn't just stop at buying a phone and laptop, going as far as purchasing backup chargers and earbuds and some things Dane wanted, which he didn't even throw a second look at before paying for.

The salesman went as far as escorting us out of the store with a smile way more genuine than the one he greeted us with. I guessed he worked on commission and could already foresee his bonus paycheck at the end of the year.

We took off to some other shop, and as I walked behind both brothers, I let my gaze travel longingly over the shop mannequins and their beautiful outfits. I was getting tired of wearing clothes that could drown me. All the attention my brothers were receiving made me all the more self-conscious of the tremendous gap between them and me.

I tried to discreetly stifle my cough in my sleeve, so as not to alert them. I didn't want them to cut our trip short on some pretence that I was sick. My efforts were useless because Elliott threw me an assessing look above his shoulder, from where he was walking a few paces ahead next to Dane.

"Do you need to stop?"

I shook my head right away.

"I'm fine."

He made a small nod, but his cool eyes didn't leave my face for a moment longer. I was saved by his uncomfortable scrutiny when a second later, Dane moved a few paces away from us to answer a phone call, and Elliott pulled me to the side so we could wait, in a small area nicely decorated with a fountain. Taking the occasion, as I was standing right next to my brother, I lightly cleared my throat.

"Erm... Merci. I mean...thank you for... all this." I vaguely gestured towards the bag he was holding.

He looked up from his phone he was lazily scrolling on, to cast me another glance. His eyes were piercing, once more making me shift uneasily. It was like he was analysing me every time he looked in my direction. He didn't let anything show of the results of said analysis though, which made me feel even more awkward. I felt like he could see way more than I wanted him to.

"It's okay."

And he was back to scrolling uninterestedly. Bored, I watched Dane talking on the phone in the distance. He was gesturing with his hands as he talked. When he slightly raised his tone, I realised he wasn't speaking English anymore. His mannerism not only attracted my attention, but also the one of a group of girls, most likely on a shopping spree from the multiple bags they each held. Most of them looked at him from the corner of their eyes, from under their lashes, but one was more straight forward, looking outright at him. She was beautiful, dressed in long high waisted pants and a nice blouse, that made her look both elegant and attractive. Her sharp features were highlighted by tasteful makeup. When her grey eyes, enhanced by black liner, returned my gaze, she threw me a nasty look.

I flinched, confused by the sudden change of her demeanour. She eyed me up and down with contempt, throwing me one last scornful glance before one of her companions started talking to her. Their giggles suddenly turned mocking to my ears. I looked down, trying to hide the blush of shame that covered my face. My confidence, already painfully thin, was now completely shattered, lying on the ground next to my pride.

I really, really couldn't wait for my clothes order to arrive, to at least regain some style. I knew that I shouldn't rely my self confidence on such superficial things as an outfit, but I was getting really sick of dressing in sweats. Everyone ought to be a bit shallow from time to time, I guessed.

I didn't look up until Dane came back to us, and even then, my eyes didn't leave the tip of my worn-out Converse. I could literally feel the daggers the girl was glaring at my back when she realised that not only was I accompanying Elliott, but Dane was a part of my group too. Unfortunately for the scarce remains of my self-esteem, my attention on my feet didn't stop me from tripping. I think I caught my shoe in the end of my pant leg, the hem of which had unfolded. I instinctively tried to grab something to stop my fall, but my hand only hit the air as both Elliott and Dane were already a few steps ahead of me, facing away. There was no prince charming either, no lovely boy love-interest-to-be nor nice grandfather to traumatise. No one stopped my fall, and the result was me dropping on my face in the middle of the crowded mall, badly hitting my knee in the process, absorbing most of the shock with my wrists.