Candescent

Chapter One, Olivia

THEY SAY IT'S BAD LUCK for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony, and because my fiance is highly superstitious, I can bet I won't be getting any visits from him. I picture the wedding hall, the drapes hanging from the ceiling, from every corner, over the windows, adding color to the light that pours in through the windows.

I see the flowers; daisies and petunias, arranged above the seats, and the arch, a last minute addition to the ceremony's decor. I see it all and it's beautiful, and so is Mitchell, my husband to be. He taps his foot rhythmically, not at all fazed by the delay. He probably thinks I'm taking my time like I usually do. Mitchell's grown accustomed to waiting an extra quarter hour every date night.

And maybe he's right.

I study my reflection in the mirror noting how my neck stands out. It's long and graceful as a neck can be, a minor contrast to the subtle curves my mother's genes have blessed me with. I imagine that instead of the pearl necklace that hangs from my neck, there is a heavy duty chain instead. The thought makes me wary, woozy, and fills me with dread.

My perspective on relationships is slightly marred by the years I've spent as the daughter to two married parents, so I suppose that's why I'm having second thoughts. The speed with which the wedding came together after the proposal was something of a red flag, leading me to believe that the plans were set in motion long before Mitchell popped the question.

I wonder what gave him the courage to go through with it.

The proposal was elaborate. Mitchell gave himself the week off work to take us on a trip to Europe which we backpacked across, something I'd told him I always wanted to do. The statement was made in passing, so when faced with the holiday away, my inhibitions dropped.

It was a wonderful seven days, the culmination being when we ended up in London and lodged in one of the fancier hotels. Mitchell had made a comment on how the night sky looked a million times more beautiful here than back home in the states, and even though we'd spent the past six nights sleeping under the open night sky, I dragged him up to the roof in our matching pajamas, demanding that we get a view before we had to leave.

When I burst through the service doors, I realized that the whole thing had been meticulously planned. In the moment's thrill, I said yes when Mitchell got down on one knee, taking no time to consider what I was saying yes to. Now in a clearer state of mind, I find myself rethinking my decision.

Mitchell King is a good man, but his short temper and fiery outbursts tend to get the better of him. On most days he's tolerable at best, his constant sour mood hovering over the atmosphere like a dark cloud. On the days I forget to exercise caution, I get zapped by one of his stray lightning bolts and my mood gets ruined too.

Mitchell and I argue often, usually over things that don't matter. Saying yes to Mitchell means saying yes to a lifetime of unfriendly bickering, and like he once casually mentioned, giving up on my practice to focus on being a good mother to his children. I own a bakeshop down on Windstom, and not to brag but we make the best Baked Alaskas in the city. I'm afraid that marrying Mitchell will mean saying goodbye to all that - to my dream of one day emerging as a winner on America's favorite baking competition, Whisked Away!. I suppose I should talk to him about it, but that temper.... It's not as bad as I'm making it out to be seeing as I stayed long enough for the next step to come into consideration, but having to wake up to that uncertainty - to not knowing what version of my husband I'll be getting?

Communication is key in any relationship, so what does this mean for a couple about to take that next step? It's like throwing in the towel before the match even starts.

A knock comes on my door and when I don't answer, it's pushed open slightly. My mother peeks in, her brown hair highlighted by strands of gray, up in a do. "Livvie," she says softly, like being any louder will awaken a monster I'm not aware of. "Everyone's waiting."