Affinity

November 27th, 2023

My eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the dark blue and purple and yellow bruise that was just noticeable at the cuff of her sleeve. My first instinct was to ask what it was from, but I figured that asking her as we were standing in the middle of our cold room, searching for lost test strip cans we needed, probably wasn't the best place for a conversation. It was great for shit talking because the fans were too loud, and you couldn't really hear anything but your own thoughts, but having a sensitive conversation about this didn't really fit the vibe of the cold room. I didn't entirely know what the conversation would have even entailed, but I could already tell that Cold Room 4 wasn't the best place for it whatsoever.

I was almost certain that she could tell that I was looking at her arm- and now my eyes were traveling up and down her body to make sure that there wasn't anything else to catch my attention. Granted, we were in lab coats which were knee length with pants under them, so I knew if there was anything else, I wouldn't be the one to see it, but I couldn't help but wonder. After my eyes had lingered just a little too long on her left wrist, her mood seemed to shift. She put back the bin that she was balancing on her knee and the adjacent shelf, and huffed, as she turned towards the end of our department's aisle. Without questioning, I followed her. She tugged on her sleeves as we walked out of the freezer, anally making sure that they were where they needed to be, and I immediately felt a sense of guilt for what I had done.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom, I'll meet you up there," she said quietly, and without any inflection in her voice. I looked at her blankly and nodded, immediately realizing that I had screwed up. She had just been acting so strange all week, which was really uncommon for her. I figured at first it was because of Thanksgiving, as I knew she was hosting and holidays are always stressful, but the weekend was over, so I still didn't really have an answer.

I must have not moved from where I was for a few seconds, because I had enough time to realize that I was standing alone in the middle of the floor, with multiple people having now passed me. I looked at the can that was in my hand, and started up the stairs back to the lab. Liz had come out of her office right as I had gotten to the top of the stairs, and greeted me with a smile. I think she was quickly concerned with the look that hadn't left my face yet.

I smiled at her, and she asked me how my Thanksgiving was. I gave her a less-genuine answer than I had intended, considering my mind was still a million other places, but she still smiled at me, and held open the door to the lab as the two of us walked in together. Liz, being the director, wasn't frequently in the lab, so I became just slightly more confused as we walked into the lab together, but that wasn't at the forefront of my mind. She started scrambling for a box that had supposedly come in the mail for her, and Danielle, with a laugh, helped her find it.

By the time that she had found what she was looking for, Lindsey had come back to the lab. She walked back over to the bay that I was in, as we were running testing together, and didn't say much. Her eyes looked a little more blue than normal, but nothing else appeared strikingly different. I was afraid that she might have been crying. And while I would have done anything to make her feel better, I felt momentarily envious that she was able to possibly cry without coming back looking like a complete mess. But then again, I didn't even know if she was crying, and I have absolutely no idea where the bruise was from, and maybe she just genuinely needed to use the bathroom. I was starting to feel like I was really starting to make this entire story up in my head, but the idea of her not being okay was enough to keep me wondering.

I never thought that Lindsey's wrist would have been on my mind for so long, but I found myself thinking about it for the rest of the day. Once she had come back into the lab, we just kind of finished what we needed to do, and went back to our desks for the rest of the day. I finished up a bit of paperwork before realizing that it was time for me to go. Karl wasn't in today, and Danielle, who shares a cubicle with Lindsey, was always promptly gone at five. It just so happened that by the time I had shut my computer down, Lindsey and I were the only ones left in the office. Even Grant was gone early today because his son got sick at school.