Shadow kissed

Chapter 3

Two months later....

I hadn't seen Charles for almost two months, I was worried but also sad and hurt. I was angry all these emotions going through my head at once. Like I a train going nearly a hundred miles an hour. We had been courting for almost a year, about nine months. Was he tired of me? Did he not want to court me anymore? I kept having bad thoughts running through my mind for days on end. Those horrible thoughts invading my mind. I tried calling him yesterday, and the day before that. I called him everyday since I last saw him. I've left messages, I even wrote him a few letters. A letter explaining the reason on why I've been calling and leaving messages. Explaining why I'm worried, and how much I miss him. 

Ugh ! All of that! I've been nothing but gracious and kind to him. Why? Why was he avoiding me? Did he realize that he was so much better than I am? Did he decide that I wasn't much worth knowing? I was distracted and confused, I was ANGRY! My floor mother at work Mrs. Smithers noticed that I had been withdrawn at work so she called me into her office to talk. 

I entered her office .....

" Jane-anne please? Sit."

Mrs. Smithers said as she pointed to the chair in front of her. I sat down and immediately I felt flushed and nervous, but also anxious. Was I getting fired? Was I in trouble? I had never been called into her office before. I mean should I be worried? There were stories on how multiple nurses and aides have lost their jobs after being called into Smithers office before. Was I the next victim to be out of a job?

" I've noticed that you have been withdrawn from your work lately." Smithers said, I looked at her and I was trying to see what I was feeling at that moment. 

"Is everything okay dear? Is everything alright for you at home?" 

Oh thank god! I immediately felt a little better when I noticed that she wasn't actually talking about me working. I smiled and said,

" Oh yes.... Mother Smithers everything is just fine."

I felt a relief in my chest as I replied to her questions. I noticed that she didn't really believe me and I could tell that she wanted a different answer than the one I gave her. The small worded shallow response I had said. My smile faded and a small tear came down my face.

" Jane-anne... please tell me what's troubling you so much that you are distracted at work." "You love your job, all the patients love you... they always tell me how they all look forward to seeing you everyday." I let out quite a big sigh and I swallowed it down.

Another tear rolls down my face as I'm trying to get the words out and before I know it I'm balling up my fist on my skirt. I'm crying and trying to breath because I feel like my chest is on fire. Smithers got up and walked around her desk and sat next to me. She placed her hand on mine and she said, 

" take a deep breath and let it out sweetheart, you can tell me anything." I looked at her through my tears soaked eyelashes.

I swallow my pride and decide to tell her. Even though I was super nervous, I mean how could I tell her? How could I say that I was in love with a man that no one would approve of. It was the 1900's, I mean segregation was still very much around. What if she disapproved of it so much that she would fire me for it? All the while worrying about that; I was also upset about a man that I thought was courting me. We've been on several dates, I've only known Charles for nine months, not even a year. Yet still I'm hung up on a man that has shown no interest in calling me back or even responding to my letters.

As I said I swallowed my pride and began to tell her everything ,

" I've met this man that I'm crazy about." I say smiling. "He's so handsome and so kind... He's the perfect gentleman." 

Smithers smiled and said ," oh that's wonderful dear what's his name? How long has he been courting you?" I smile and say," not long, only a few months." 

My smile then fades and I look down at my hands, I look at the exact spot where he kissed my hand the last night I saw him. "What is dear? Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt you?" She asked.

"No... He did nothing wrong. It's like I said he's the perfect gentleman... kind and sweet and just... < sigh > amazing." I look back up to her, " it's just that... " 

she replies , "yes dear? You know you can tell me anything ." 

I quickly say, "It's just that I haven't heard from him for over a month. I really thought he liked me, he used to bring me flowers every Friday and leave sweet little love notes in my mailbox, and now.."

"Now what dear?" Smithers asked as she looked at me with somewhat of her being worried mixed with what I could tell was her intrigued.

" Now nothing. I haven't seen him or heard from him and I'm worried." " I'm worried about his safety, he's all alone and I just .."

Smithers looked at me with a concerned but yet puzzled look on her face. "Why would you be worried about his safety? He's a grown man. " 

A soon as those words left her mouth I got anxious, I knew that she would puzzle the pieces together right away. 

"He should only be worried if he isn't white ." She said sternly, I looked back at her and let out a sad scared sigh.

In my head I kept thinking. This is it, she's gonna fire me and hate me because I didn't think the way everyone else thought. I didn't think or like that everyone separated everyone based on the color of their skin. I thought that for sure I was done for. I tentatively tell her... 

" He's not white mother Smithers, Charles is a man of color. But I don't care!" I said quickly, raising my voice, but not too loud as if I was yelling at her but loud enough for her to see that I was serious.

"He's sweet, and kind , and charming and one of the most astounding persons I have ever met!"

Mrs. Smithers smiled and let out a little laugh, "Oh .. Jane-anne, there is nothing wrong with that." She said still smiling, I was happy that she thought that but also confused... Why was she so okay with it? I mean I wasn't complaining but what was it? 

She saw the look that I gave her. The reaction I had to her not being angry and not being hurt by her answer. She saw the confusing and practically all the gears running through my head. She then grabbed my hand and quickly let me know why she was okay with it all. 

" Jane-anne.. My husband isn't white either, he's African American as well." I immediately get a huge grin on my face. As soon as I heard those words come out of her mouth I felt a rush of relief and sincerity. 

" Really?"

I ask in excitement, feeling super relaxed now and not worried anymore. 

"Yes, his name is Vincent Smithers Junior III." She said with an enormous smile on her face, and of course I smiled as well because I was so happy for her. You could tell that she was very proud to be married to the man.

She started telling me about how they met when she was younger and how they eloped and how they both worked to save up enough to build their own little home for themselves and their children. She told me all about how she fell in love with him and how much they fought to be together. It was sweet , I had tears of joy hearing her life story about her and her husband and her family. It was like a love of the ages story.

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