Chapter 21: A Good Kind of Crazy

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We're laying in the solarium. It's snowing outside but the solarium is heated, so I can watch snow falling on glass above me while feeling like I'm back on a St. Barths beach. Jasper lays across a lounge chair lazily, staring up at the ceiling. I'm splayed out similarly across another lounge chair. We've discarded our winter coats and sweaters. Funnily enough, both of us are wearing the dress shirts that are part of the Arbourne uniform, even if it's a weekend.

"What are we?" I ask, staring up at the falling snow. It's piling onto the glass thickly, like powdered sugar.

"Anything," Jasper says. "I could be your boyfriend if you want. Though I don't know how much that's worth at this point."

"Let's just be us," I tell him.

"What's us?" Jasper asks, his voice amused.

I turn around so I'm facing him. "Don't make me answer that question."

"Sure."

There's silence. I have a magazine, but I'm not particularly interested in it. I'm more interested in the way the light catches on Jasper's hair, the slant of his cheekbones.

"What's this?" I ask, reaching out. I push aside Jasper's collar, touching the little scar I've always wondered about.

Jasper sucks in a breath slightly, shivering under my touch. His skin is warm. "A scar," he says.

"I'm not blind, dumbass."

"You want to know how I got it?"

"I want to know everything about you."

He cracks a smile. "First time I got drunk, I fell across the deck of Seung-jun's yacht and the bottle I was holding broke. I don't think I ever drank after that. I was so drunk that I don't even remember that happening—Seung-jun had to tell me about it."

"He owns a yacht?"

"Oh, that's what you focus on?"

I laugh, pushing him away. "I shouldn't be surprised. Don't you own a yacht?"

"We live in England. When are we going to use a yacht?"

"Fine, fine. What about your ring? Are you secretly married?" I tease.

I don't touch his hand, but he reaches out to pick up mine instead. The golden ring in question glints in the low light. "Signet ring," he says, lowering his head to press his lips to my knuckles. I fight a flush from coming to my cheeks.

"There's no seal."

He lets go of my hand and pulls his ring off, handing it to me. I can see a slight engraving of a seal on the inside of the ring. "I don't get a real one until I graduate from Oxford. Only way my parents are going to get me to go to school."

I slip the ring on my index finger, holding it up to the light. It looks like a wedding band, but it's a little thicker than a wedding ring. Stronger, more powerful. "Does it matter that much?" I ask, returning the ring to him.

"Probably not," he admits, "but I want it all the same. Don't you want things like that?"

I lean across my chair, stretching. "The only thing I've ever wanted is diamonds and private flights to Ibiza."

Jasper runs a hand through his hair, looking away with a smile. "Forget I ever said that."

"What if I meant it?" I ask, half-teasing and half-serious.

"I know you don't mean it. Hey, this is boring. Do you want to play pool?"

"You're boring," I tell him, but I do stand up and go play pool with him. I remember seeing Teddy play at this pool table. It's in a billiards room upstairs, just as fancy as you would expect from a house that has a room selectively for billiards. "We should play for forfeits. Just to make things fun."

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