Traumatic

Traumatized - 3

!TW - Anxiety, Panic, Crying, Bad Thoughts!

*Fast forword*

Nicks pov:
It was a long and quiet way to get home to Charlie from school. He can barely walk because his body hurts and he refused to have me for support - which I think is perfectly fine as I can understand if touch can be uncomfortable. I don't know yet what has happened, I only have my thoughts. But at the same time I don't know how to ask Charlie, it's a sensitive subject and I can see that he is completely destroyed both mentally and physically.

Right now we are in Charlie's room. He sits on the edge of his bed and holds his face in his hands, crying. Calmly and carefully I walk over to the bed and sit down next to him.
"What wrong" I ask calmly, in a low tone, not to upset him. But he doesn't answer. All that I can be hear is how his cries become louder, more aggressive and how his whole body begins to shake.
"It's okay, you can talk to me" I say.

Charlie's POV:
It is not okay and I definitely can't talk to Nick, not right now anyway. He will think I have cheated on him and then he will leave me. I sit with my face in my hands, crying and all I can think about is what just happened. How Ben just hit me, laid me naked on a cold floor and I couldn't do anything. I just lay there, unable to move.
"No no no" I sob and lift my head from my hands. I look at the floor with a shaking body while playing with my fingers to quell the anxiety. The thought of everything that happened makes me feel so bad. It's like I can feel Ben around me, touching me - even though he's not even here. I suddenly feel myself starting to shake more.
"I.. I could... could... couldn't.. not... not-"
"Shhh, it's okay Charlie, remember to breathe" Nick tells me and I look up at him, and that's when I realize. He is such a nice person, he doesn't deserve such a disgusting and worthless person like me. Maybe Ben was right, I deserved what he did.

After much crying and thinking, I take a deep breath and look down at the floor to avoid having to meet Nick's beautiful eyes.
"I.. I-I-I'm s..sorry but.. I.. I-I'm not-not ready.. ready to-to talk.. yet" I manage to say with a shaky voice and the tears in my throat. I don't dare to look at Nick, I can't see his reaction. He'll probably go away now and think I'm stupid and selfish for not wanting to talk about it. It's quiet for a while and I start to panic about the fact that Nick doesn't say anything.
"I-I'm sorry" I add to break the silence.

"Hi, I understand. I'll be here when you're ready to talk" Nick whispers in my ear after a while. It feels like a stone is being lifted from my chest, it feels like I can breathe - it feels like a relief. Cautiously, I look up at him and meet his gaze. I give him a small smile to show my gratitude, I can't bear to talk more than necessary right now.

Nicks pov:
Charlie just told me he's not ready to talk, which I can totally understand. The only thing that matters to me is that he is okay, regardless of what has happened. I think for a moment about what I could do to be useful - not just sit next to him and watch him cry. So I get up from the bed and walk over to his closet. I open the doors and lots of clothes fall out, his wardrobe is a real mess. I laugh a little to myself, because it's so typical of Charlie not to be tidy - not with his clothes anyway. After a lot of searching and digging in the cluttered wardrobe, I manage to find a pair of gray sweatpants and a regular basic t-shirt. I fold the clothes neatly and go back to the bed and to Charlie. I place the clothes next to him before squatting in front of him to meet his gaze.
"Take the time you need, okay? I have put clean clothes over here and you can keep wearing my hoodie if you want. Only you decide when and where you want to change" I say and look into his wonderfully, beautiful blue eyes. He gives me a small nod and I stand up to go and sit on his bed, with my back against the wall.

Suddenly and hastily, Charlie stands up from the bed with fear in his body. His whole body is tense and he looks towards the door, before looking at me with a panicked look. I look at him thoughtfully, what's going on?
"He.. he- he's here" Charlie whispers with panic in his voice. He looks at me like I'm the superhero who's going to save him, but from what? The whole room, and the house, is dead silent.
"Who is "here?" I ask, trying to be calm. He looks back at the door and then anxiously starts pacing back and forth across the room.

"B-B.. Ben" he whispers.