Traumatic

Traumatized - 6

!TW - Anxiety, Pain, Self Harm, Rape!

Charlies POV:
After Tori has left my room I stand up to change clothes. The clothes Nick put on the bed earlier feel much more comfortable than the ones Ben forced me to take off. After changing, I jump back into the bed and get under the covers, inhaling the scent of Nick through his hoodie I'm wearing. Everything in my body still hurts, especially my arm.

Suddenly I hear a small, faint knock on my bedroom door. I look towards the door and see how it slowly opens. Nick sneaks in with a worried look. He approaches the bed and sits down next to me, with his back to the wall. I lie with my back to him - I'm not willing to face him right now. He sits quietly for a long time. His presence feels both comforting and frightening at the same time. I have to tell him, someday - but not now. Right now I'm not ready, but at the same time - I should be.
"Charlie.." says Nick and breaks the long silence. I hear his soft voice that is at the same time filled with concern. I bite my lip to stop the tears from running down my cheeks. How can I explain? Where do I even begin? Will he be mad?
"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but I'm here for you. And if you don't want me here, you can just ask me to leave," Nick continues to say after a long pause. His words sink into my chest and I feeling an intense longing to throw myself into his arms and cry out all my pain - but something in me holds me back, my shame and fear.

Nick's pov:
I sit quietly in Charlie's bed, with Charlie lying next to me, silent. I'm not going to force him to talk, or even look at me - right now it's best if he can take the time he needs. I pull out my phone from the back pocket of my jeans. It's five o'clock in the afternoon and I've some missed texts from my mom, wondering where I am. I answer her quickly before I take the phone away again, now I'm going to put all my focus on Charlie.

After a long moment of silence and stillness, Charlie begins to move. He turns over in bed and is now lying with the body, his face, directed towards me. I look straight into Charlie's bloodshot eyes, and he looks into mine. His beautiful blue eyes are something I have really missed looking at today. Hesitantly, I raise my hand and place it gently against Charlie's cheek, brushing away a tear that falls. I then quickly remove my hand again and realize that I may have just made a huge mistake. He maybe doesn't want me to touch him.

Charlie's POV:
The feeling of Nick's hand against my cheek made me crack. I burst into tears and lay down in Nick's arms, with my head on his chest. My emotions are all over the place and tears are streaming down my cheeks. Suddenly I feel how Nick hesitantly embrace me and hold me close to him - his embrace is really warm and comforting right now. After a moment of crying and silence, I can now finally find the words I've been looking for the whole day.
"Ben... he.. h-he..." I start stuttering. My voice is only a whisper, but I can tell from Nick's body language that he is listening intently. I sob and feel Nick run his hand gently through my dark curls.
"Take your time," he whispers in a calm and soft voice.
I swallow hard and force myself to meet his gaze.
"He.. he raped me..." I whisper, my voice shaky with pain and shame.
Nick's face changes, from soft and calm to anger and sadness. He pulls me even closer to his body and lightly kisses my forehead.

Nicks pov:
When Charlie whispered the truth about what had happened, it felt like my whole world was turned upside down. Anger at Ben burned inside me, but the overwhelming feeling of sadness for Charlie surpassed everything else. I wanted to take all the pain out of his body, out of his life - but I knew it wasn't possible.

Charlie's POV:
I just told Nick what happened. I didn't tell in that much detail, but I told him. I feel a sense of relief at the same time as fear.

Without saying anything, I pull up the sleeve of the hoodie and show Nick the bandage around my arm. I feel tears welling up behind my eyes, why do I always have to disappoint people? Why do I always have to be the one being used? Nick takes his hand and puts my arm in it, he caresses the bandage gently with his thumb.
"When?" He asks quietly. I hear him trying to hold back worry and sadness. I look up at him and check out his glossy eyes.
"Now.. after I threw you out.." I mutter. Nick nods and gives me a small smile, before again placing a kiss on my forehead before speaking.
"I love you... thank you for telling me"

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Authors note: hi, sorry for the wait but here is a new chapter. I don't know how, and if, I should continue this story - please give me some ideas and what you want to happened next!