𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

keep you warm- spencer

You had spent nearly an hour next to Spencer considering the very creative and unprofessional things you'd planned to text Penelope in the morning once you could charge your phone on the jet, all of which would surely be forgotten in the morning, but it was a very good distraction from your current situation. You and Penelope had a general disagreement about the status of your relationship with Spencer Reid, your partner for the last few months. You were sure without a single doubt that he absolutely hated you, Penelope believed that what felt like hate was really pent-up tension that needed to be released- by putting the two of you together in one room with only one bed, she had clearly decided it was time for the tension to be released.

You were lucky the case had taken so much out of the team, neither of you thinking too much of the little double bed you were stuck in, just skipping through the shower and crawling under the questionable sheets. Spencer was asleep by the time you got into bed, and you were quite grateful he didn't have to witness the sight of you shivering in the skimpy Bambi pajamas that should've been thrown away ages ago. How were you to know on the night you'd be there it would all of a sudden be cold? Basically, the sleeping arrangement wasn't all that encouraging to sleep, you were cold, in the bed with someone you found alarmingly attractive that just so happened to hate you, and being in said bed with him meant you had to leave your comfort stuffed animal in your go bag.

You were careful when you rolled over, knowing you'd be much closer to Spencer than you should be, balled up still, holding an extra pillow against your chest and the neon sign just across the street made for good lighting in the supposed to be dark room. He was much prettier like this, you decided, quiet and unconscious, perfect to look at without being met with some dismissing comment or gesture that you'd replay for the rest of the day. Like this you could appreciate the little dimple that dipped right beside his lips even when he wasn't smiling, or the little beauty marks you wouldn't see if you weren't looking for them, or the fact that his hair smelled like pomegranate- you were always sure it was something fruity, never sure which fruit but now you knew, you'd think about him every time you smelled pomegranate.

Your head dipped further into the pillow when he moved, sighed as if something interesting was happening in his head even asleep, of course it would, his hair fell over his eyes, and you had to clutch the pillow tighter to stop yourself from reaching forward and moving the hair away from distorting your view. You wondered as you wondered before what had made him so very set in his distain for you, you'd been very encouraging of all his quirks and habits, in fact you thought they accommodated your own surprisingly well. Yet he's been acting a proper nightmare since Hotch reassigned the two of you to the same car, as if all of a sudden, your very existence was a thorn in his side and you wished you could remove yourself for his sake but Hotch was adamantly against the paperwork of it all.

"Why do you hate me, Spencer Reid?" you sighed, the question too quiet for even you to hear but you had to put it out there for even a second, shifting into the little cocoon you'd created by tucking the blanket under your bum and around your feet, but you were interrupted. Spencer was still moving, another sigh, much less dreamy this time as he tried to tug on the blanket, probably just as cold as you were, one more tug and you realized he was trying to pull it away from where it was tucked under you, his eyes opened with a disgruntled question.

"Y/n?" it sounded like a mixture of surprise and realization, like he'd somehow forgotten you were there in the first place, or like he'd assumed you'd find some other sleeping arrangements after your shower- you'd tried, Emily wasn't fond of sharing or rather wasn't fond of kicking you off the bed through the night and JJ was stuck in a single bed, not like you'd ask Derek or Hotch though the thought had definitely crossed your mind.

"Sorry," you whispered almost on instinct, moving forward completely accidentally and his tired gaze focussed instantly. "Sorry," you whispered again, and when you allowed him to take more of the blanket his hand brushed over your shoulder. The shiver it created was both due to the sudden touch and the sudden warmth. "Sorry," you tried to move back, save him from the cold of your skin.

"You're freezing," he noted, and you wanted to explain yourself, apologetic even for your own disdain of the weather but he didn't give you much time, gently stealing the pillow from your grip and chucking it across the room, silencing your indistinct questions by pulling you against him. "I was waiting for you to get out of the shower and I must've fallen asleep," he explained, and you didn't know what to do with yourself when he gently guided your head to rest against his chest, on his pillow, in fact, you were sure this was some sleep-deprived hallucination that you'd have to scorn yourself for conjuring. "I assumed that you hadn't packed for the cold even though I always tell you to."

"It was supposed to be sunny," you argued, and he scoffed a soft sound, you felt it against your ear, and you didn't know what to do about that either. He dragged a finger up your arm, flicked the frilly pink sleeve of your shirt, and shook his head, you felt that too. In fact, you could feel him breathing, could feel his pulse right through his long-sleeved shirt.

"I told you it wouldn't be," he fought, and you had to see him, couldn't let him scorn you with your face buried between his pecks, so you tilted your head back, trying to ignore that it forced your bodies to shift closer somehow.

"And you know more than the weathermen now?" he shrugged, and the roll of your eyes was the closest you'd ever come to taking him on for his attitude towards you, it was also his signal that you were done so he tightened his hold, fighting a smirk when you didn't fight him. He was warm, impossibly warm considering the room, you wished you could steal every ounce of warmth right from him, and the hand that slid up his arm under his sleeve to wrap around his wrist had a mind of its own and you'd be embarrassed were you not so desperate. "Sorry," you realized but he stopped you before you could pull away, fingers circling your arm to keep you still.

"Stop apologizing," his tone was odd, you couldn't read it, you could rarely read him to begin with but enough to know just how far to stay away from him that day, but this was new, rushed, forced, like he didn't think it through which isn't a characteristic the man holds. "I don't mind, I don't want you to be cold," he explained and he made it sound just as logical as one of the little facts he'd share with the team, as if cuddling someone you disliked was entirely logical as well.

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not? Why would I want you to be cold?" why on earth was that such a silly thing to expect of him, you shrugged, you didn't know what to say, like you'd ever for a second considered that the man cared enough to even think about what you feel let alone care about how you feel. "I don't want you to be cold," he was softer when he repeated it and the grip he had turned to something so soft there wasn't even a word for it, like he'd realized what he was doing and in a second it became less about keeping you warm and more just about keeping you in his arms. "I care about you, why wouldn't I care about you being cold," Your thumb brushed up and down his skin, too comfortable.

"You care about me?" he'd never admit to anyone, let alone himself how much it pained him to hear the surprise in your voice, the genuine disbelieve you'd feel towards such a simple statement, such an obvious declaration, you were his partner, his teammate, his friend, his- well you were someone he cared about, and he'd made a proper mess of things if you thought otherwise.

"Well, I sure as hell don't hate you," you bit your lip, of course he'd heard that, even in his sleep he's a proper pain in the behind, hear all, know all. "It's late," he decided even though he had no clue of what the time was, he just couldn't talk about this anymore. "We've had a long day, you should get some sleep."

"Spencer." Why you wanted to explain yourself you didn't know, it's not like he hadn't given you copious amounts of evidence proving he disliked you, so why would he expect you'd thought he felt anything else. "I'm sorry," he scoffed, squeezing you lightly.

"Stop apologizing to me," his chin rested on the top of your head, the most foreign feeling yet it came so naturally to him, just like leaning into him felt natural to you, like your bodies knew what to do when your minds didn't. "Get some sleep," he relished in the feeling of you melting into him, like he was giving you permission to do so. "I'll keep you warm," and he did, even when he'd convinced himself to fall asleep, he was sure to keep an arm around you in whatever position you'd shifted to, to keep you warm, only to keep you warm- even when the sun came up, even when the cold fled the room. In the morning he'd wonder when the cold had fled from his heart.