Only Human (Female Murder Drones x Male Human Reader)

Pilot

Uzi: We are Worker Drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, JCJenson IN SPAAAAACCCEE!!!! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex. But it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything, mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves.

As she speaks, the planet core collapses and blows up a good majority of Copper 9. Afterwards, a Worker Drone touches a frozen human skeleton, which falls over and shatters.

Uzi: With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future, all to ourselves.

A landing pod crashes to the city, interrupting the Worker Drones' peaceful lives.

Uzi: Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI...

The Disassembly Drones begin to emerge from the pod. One of them throws the head of a dead drone, laughs, and destroys the city with other drones. It's revealed this is all part of Uzi's presentation for class.

Uzi: But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident! Anyway, that's why my project is this sick-as-hell railgun!

Her classmates all gasp and panic at the sight of it.

Riley: Oh, so not the vibe!

Uzi: Easy, morons. It doesn't work...yet. It doesn't work yet. Who said it doesn't work?! Maybe it does!

She flicks the switch and cackles evilly while the teacher rolls his eyes and sighs in disinterest.

Teacher: Uzi, the homework was a word problem about buying watermelons.

Uzi: Oh, and this magnetically amplified photon converger doesn't count?

Teacher: ...No. Plus, repressed emotional baggage was only worth two points on the rubric. And is it supposed to be that color?

The railgun explodes and covers in the classroom in smoke, causing everyone to cough.

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After that calamitous demonstration, Uzi winds up in the sick bay. A female drone named Lizzy that acts like a stereotypical popular girl is with her friend Doll as they look into the bay.

Lizzy: Ew, it didn't kill her! Oh my god, it's so bad!

The both of them depart.

Uzi: Ugh...

A male drone resembling a jock walks in. His name is Thad.

Thad: Classic toxic masculinity, Chad! That's never gonna end up problematic... Oh wow, Uzi? I heard you, uh-

Uzi: I'm an angsty teen, Thad. Bite me! Also, how do you know my name? People willingly talk to you.

Thad just chuckles.

Thad: Well, I'd say everyone knows Khan's daughter, but, uh... Then you might blow the other half of your face off.

Uzi: Crippling daddy issues, hilarious... What are you in for? Testosterone too hard?

Thad: That can happen? Awesome. Hey, those bandages look pretty badass!

Uzi blushes a bit at the compliment.

Uzi: Oh... Uh, ew. Gross, I hate that you said that.

Thad: So, what's the, uh...

Uzi: Sick-as-hell railgun?! Sci-fi nonsense that super works! I'm sneaking to the Murder Drone lair tonight to get the last spare part I need to save the world with it and earn my dad's respect and stuff, but mostly the world part.