AUs of Balancer Productions' Series (& other Steve Stories channels)

[bunch of AUs 📝] incorrect quotes 2.0

more because they live in my brain.
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⠀
Reincarnation of the Past [OriginsSMP×UniteSMP]

Unite!Butterz, refering to origins!Butterz:
i dropkicked that child in self, defense. you gotta believe me—

~~<>~~

Box: happy birthday to me :)

Box: but what's another year, when you're immortal and will never die?

~~<>~~

Unite!Nether: hello.

Unite!Nether: it's currently half past, i-don't-give-a-fuck.

~~<>~~

origins!Nether, trying to read: aoo? waa?

Unite!Butterz, trying not to laugh: what does that say, buddy?

origins!Nether: waaa?

Unite!Butterz, failing: no!

origins!Nether: waaaaa?

Unite!Butterz: completely breaks down laughing.

~~<>~~

origins!Cookie, wanting to test on the Unites:
and i just, want you, for my own~

Unite!Nether, knowing that tone from anywhere:
please leave me, The Fuck, Alone~!

⠀
Cemetery [UniteSMP]

Lava: who took my horse!?

Butterz: who took my best friend's tongue?

Lava:

Lava: nods, leaves.

~~<>~~

Butterz, whispering:
that one friend who's always cold.

Box: i'm cold

Butterz: you're always cold.

Butterz: .. but dang it if you aren't my friend.

~~<>~~

Nytree: when the barber accidentally gives you a bowl cut, it's like. what are you gonna do?

Nytree: brutally kills the barber.

~~<>~~

Nytree: hey bro, can i have a sip of that water?

Box: it's not water.

Nytree: vodka! i like your style.

Box: it's vinegar.

Nytree: ... What?

Box: it's vinegar, pus—

⠀
Our Execution [UniteSMP]

Box, to Lava: 🎶ooh i just can't wait~ to beat your— ass~🎶

Box: that's right, 🎶bitch. i'm coming~🎶

~~<>~~

Nether, to Box: why the fuck are you lyin'? why you always lying? mm oh my god, stop fuckin' LYING—

⠀
Sheep to the Slaughter [BO]

Lava frantically looking for slowness potions, running to the Balancers' house.

Lava, slamming the door open: Nether, where are the slowness potions?

The Balancers, all in a pile: waking noises, protesting immediately.

Nether: grabs a slowness potion from under End and gives it to the Player.

Lava: shi— crap, thanks man.

~~<>~~

Nether: messin' with Lava's machine.

Lava: Nether! stop!

Nether: i'm helping :(

~~<>~~

Box, knowing they're fucked: oh no.

Lava, who caused that to happen: ooh no..

Butterz, slamming the door open, having no context whatsoever: OH YEEAAAAH

⠀
REVERTED [LotB×BO]

BO!Energy, gesturing at the LotB!Balancers that they don't have themselves:
what the underworld? is this allowed? what the, is that allowed?

~~<>~~

BO!Over, refering to the Axolotls:
look at all those fish! :D

~~<>~~

BO!Balance, to Psychotic: don't fuck with me, I Have the power of the Creators & Friendship on my side!

LotB!UnBalance: wait—

BO!Balance: aaAAAAAAAAAAA

⠀
Abandon All Hope [LotB]

CB, to basically everyone: .. wait a minute... who, are you?

~~<>~~

Ox, or Diamond, about to cry:
what a great day today.. inhales, can't wait for moreehh—

~~<>~~

CB: the fuck? the fuck? the fuck is in the air!? the fuck, there's white shit everywhere.

~~<>~~

CB, about to decimate Dread:
>//statement: you're_messing_with_my_host?
>//restate.statement: you're_messing_with_my_host!?

~~<>~~

Ox: hey CB, whatcha wanna eat?

Second, still in CB: the souls of the innocent.

CB, unfazed: .. a bagel.

Second: no!

CB, now learning what ‘smug’ means:
2 bagels.

~~<>~~

Notch, trying to give comfort: release all of the sounds, that are trapped in your mind..

Light/Balance: ...aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

⠀
Undertale with Box & Diamond [FnaF×Undertale]

Box: put those donuts back, i'm not buying you all that stuff.

Diamond: throws said spider donut at him.

Box: ah— Try me you Bastard.

~~<>~~

Diamond, getting hit by a monster attack: laughing, mothertrucker, dude. that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.

~~<>~~

Diamond: shoots the toy gun at the ceiling, a "star" falls, and it immediately alarts Undyne.

Box, about to have an aneurysm: ... thIS IS WHY YOUR MOM DOESN'T FUCKIN' LOVE YOU—