The Summer Deal

Forty four - The Pineapple Theory

In between three glasses of champagne, an upset couple, their son having the front seat of the best entertainment he would ever get in his life, the newly married couple's entry, their first dance, and a missing grandmother, I was doing a wonderful job. Noah had not spoken a word. He was an antisocial bastard who was using my people-repelling skills for his own selfish needs.

"I'm hungry," I announced. The wedding cake had not been cut yet and there was a huge spread of different varieties of foods laid out in the buffet. "Can we eat something?"

"I don't know," Noah replied in a hushed voice.

"I saw a man walking away with a plate full of seafood appetizers. I think nobody would mind if we eat something." I then gave a side-eye to Henry's parents. "You don't mind, do you?"

The couple shook their heads like dogs wagging their tails.

"And you," I snapped at Henry. The young man emitted a strange noise out of his throat. "Get off your phone and enjoy the party. This is a no-device reception."

Noah and I walked over to the appetizer buffet spread out and grabbed our plates. My stomach growled at the sight of so much food on the table. "Sex makes me hungry. Make sure you always feed me after you fuck me, will you?" He replied with a curt nod and picked up salad with the help of tongs. I grabbed a bowl of fruits and noticed Noah picked the same but he was picking out a certain fruit out of his bowl and tossing it in another bowl. "What are you doing?"

"I don't like pineapples," Noah grumbled like a child. He shuddered visibly, groaning in disgust, as he picked out the last piece from his bowl. "They prick my tongue."

I exchanged his bowl with the one where he had thrown away the pineapple pieces. Noah protested and tried to put it back on the table. I added more pineapple instead.

He whined. "Baby, no. I don't like them."

Why was this man so darn cute? "Eat," I scolded him like a parent scolding her child for not eating green vegetables. "Or else I won't blow your dick."

"I can manage one night."

"Ever," I finished.

As expected, Noah picked up a piece and stuck his tongue out to taste it. He faked a gag. "Yuck! Gross!"

I was amused by his behavior. "You're a grown man in his mid-thirties, Noah. Let that thought sink in."

He made an ugly face. "I'll eat them for you."

"Huh," I responded and added three pieces of chicken legs to my plate. It looked so juicy and tasty, that I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into it. "Hey, can you—what are you doing?"

Noah stopped stuffing pineapples in his mouth. "Eaffheeng." He chewed quickly, swallowed, and said, "I heard pineapple makes semen delicious so I thought why the hell not sacrifice today? It's a win-win situation. You can blow me too and enjoy it better."

I didn't know how to react. He sacrificed his dislikes only for the sake of getting a blowjob from me later. "You're a very strange man, Noah."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

We came back to our table and I saw an old woman in her 90s sitting in my seat with a walking stick. Her fake, pearly white dentures shone in the light when she saw Noah.

"Noah! Come give your old hag a hug."

He shoved his plate in my hand and hugged the woman. She hugged him tight and Noah squeaked. "Cresselda! You're so... alive. How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm good. Wow! Let me look at you," she pulled Noah's cheeks and smacked them, "Such sharp jawline," then his bottom lip, "such healthy gums. Good physique... such strong arms, no tummy, you're not taken by chance, are you? Come come. Meet Sasha's cousins. Such lovely girls they are."