As old as time - Charles Leclerc

Something to believe in

Charles

Warm hugs, that's all I can give her. I always think about her, especially when I'm traveling. I remember when we were young, she would come to my races to cheer for me alongside my father, I loved seeing her, and I still do.

Last night was a blast, considering the amount of champagne Olivier and I had, what's not fun for sure is the headache I'm having right now. I picked up my phone and saw the text from Michelle, I texted her back "Okay". I saw the cat, Niro, lying under the couch on his back like a drunken sailor, I've never seen a drunken sailor in my life but it felt accurate.

Minutes after Michelle called, "Good morning beautiful, why did-" she interrupted me, "Charlie, can you come to the hospital real quick?" I could sense the fear and the anxiety in her voice, "Of course, is everything alright? what's happening?" "Henri" she choked up and got quiet, "I'm coming" I said while I hurried outside.

While I was sitting in the back of a taxi, my mind went back to the thoughts I had this morning., I've always been in love with her, "No, no that's inappropriate" I thought. I had a crush on her when we were in middle school, maybe even until high school, but that doesn't mean that I love her, right?

I know I'm trying to convince myself that I don't have feelings for her, but I do, I really do. "She has a boyfriend, get a grip on yourself" The voice in my head repeated.

We bonded through pain and happiness, and we saw each other's worst and best moments, she was there when Papa died, when Jules died, when Anthoine died, and even when we were miles away she made sure that I was okay. She was happy for me when I entered F1, when I joined Ferrari, when I had my first pole position, and even when I got P7 in Jeddah she was still proud of me. I tried to distract myself from thinking about her by dating, I thought maybe it was just a phase I needed to move beyond, but every time I still compared whoever I dated to her.

"She sounded scared" I thought, I wanted to ask her what happened, but it didn't seem like the right thing to do, I remembered that night, she was scared and then scarred.

2 years ago

It was a rainy autumn evening, I was attempting to cook pasta for dinner, it doesn't usually go wrong if I follow a recipe, which I was not doing today. "I forgot to buy spinach" I remembered, I put on a coat and got my wallet, as I opened the door I saw her, Michelle, soaked in water, shivering, and crying, "Elle, what's wrong?" I worryingly asked but she didn't say a thing "Come in" I said.

Sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her, Michelle kept crying as I dried her up, I didn't ask her what was wrong, I was too focused on keeping her warm. Minutes later she stopped crying and hugged me, I hugged her back, whenever she hugged me I knew she needed it, and I will never refuse a hug from her, because we both desperately need it. She immediately fell asleep, I didn't let go of her, I couldn't, the warmth of her skin felt so good against my body that I couldn't resist closing my eyes and falling asleep with her.

An hour later I woke up, she was still sleeping with her arms wrapped around me, she looked peaceful, I thought. I went to the kitchen to make some tea for us, as the aroma of the tea leaves filled the room she woke up, "Hey beautiful, want some tea?" I said, she nodded silently and laid back on the couch. I knew something happened that had nothing to do with her parents, something big, I just knew.

I just laid down and cried
The waters don't really go by me
Give me something I can see
Something bigger and louder than the voices in me
Something to believe
Didn't always do it right
Might have left the heat on high
Didn't know I had any left
Thought I finally met my death
Gonna do all I can
Stay away from the quicksand
Gonna do all I can
Nobody's gonna love you the same way
Some of us go astray, I walk so far from them all
Instead of dropping the ball, I seem to carry so many
The colors don't align, a question of time
I seem to lose what I find
Please give me a sign soon
Really wanna find out the truth
And at night I just laid down and cried
The waters don't really go by me
Give me something I can see
Something bigger and louder than the voices in me
— ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉˡⁱᵉᵛᵉ - ᵂᵉʸᵉˢ ᵇˡᵒᵒᵈ

I handed her the hot tea mug, and I saw the tears running down her cheeks, "Thank you" she whispered, "What's wrong? what happened? I can't stand seeing you like this" I begged, with her eyes full of tears and her stuffed nose she tried talking, but her voice disappeared. I got up to switch on the lights and after I turned them on that's when I saw the red bruise on her face, I gasped, her face was swollen, her arms were covered with blue marks, and she looked like she just lost a boxing match.

"Michelle, WHO DID THIS TO YOU??!" I shouted, she was startled, "Who fucking did this, tell me? was it Fred?" she didn't say a word "Motherfucker, I'm gonna kill him. Why did he do this to you?" she was sobbing at this point, she wrapped the blanket tighter around her body, she was breathing so fast, I couldn't stop my self from crying, "I'm sorry" she trembled, "No, you are not, I am" I hugged her again.

"I'm pregnant, he didn't like that" she suddenly muttered, "I want this baby, it's my baby, this is My life!!" She stopped for a moment then continued, "Henri told me that getting an abortion is the best option for me, WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW!! I'm the one in control, I don't care if it's going to be hard to raise this baby alone, I'm gonna fucking do it" I could sense the sadness and trickery she felt from her tone, she was heartbroken, the two people that she thought will be happy for her betrayed her, I was getting furious, why would they do this to her, why?!

"Elle, you know I'm here for you, whatever happens you know you can count on me" I said, "I feel bad, I'm here bothering you with my stupid problems when you have a weekend ahead of you, I'm sorry Charlie" I saw the guilt in her face, "NO, don't be sorry, we are best friends, what's the point of me being in your life if I don't help you, if I'm not there for you. Fuck my work, I don't care about it, as long as you are okay I'm happy" I said while I palmed her cheeks, her brown eyes were red and glossy, and even with all the bruises she still looked perfect as always. She slowly closed her eyes as I kissed her cheeks and forehead "You're going to be fine, trust me" I reassured her.

At that moment nothing mattered, I was there with her. All my worries disappeared, I was with Michelle, my world, my beginning, and my end.

I had something to believe in, I believed in her, in myself, and us. I believed in us.

Something to believe, to believe
Something to believe
Something to believe
Something to believe
Something to believe
— ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉˡⁱᵉᵛᵉ - ᵂᵉʸᵉˢ ᵇˡᵒᵒᵈ