My Body Guard

•Chapter Forty-One•

I stare my reflection, analysing every feature with a bitter scrutiny.

I'm wearing a simple black dress, ending modestly at the knee, with black heels in hopeless effort to enhance my tiny height. My eyes that used to be a bright grey, now were dull like swirling clouds in a storm because of my lack of sleep. My hair is scrapped in a bun, just like mother always liked it.

A lone tear slips down my cheek thinking about my family. It's been a week but I'm still not to terms with it. Gone. Because of me.

Anger floods through my veins like acid and burns my insides. Not aimed anyone but myself.

I shouldn't be upset. I caused this. Everything that's happened is because of me. Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this pain if I'd done as I was told. And my family wouldn't be dead.

Pathetic. That's what I am. There's no better word to describe me right now.

Not brave.

Not strong.

Pathetic.

I deserve all this pain.

"Tris?" Tobias voice calls from outside my bedroom door and I shake my head, willing the torturing, dark thoughts to disappear. "The service is about to start..."

His voice fades off when I turn to look at him and he see my tear ridden face.

"Tris, love." He says, walking swiftly over to me, his arms automatically around me. I nuzzle my face into his black shirt as he squeezes me close. He doesn't ask questions he just holds me, as if he knows this is exactly what I need right now.

I sniff and pull away from him. I turn around slowly as his concerned features follow my every move. Tobias moves closer, bending slightly to compensate for our height difference, he places his head on my shoulder and wraps his sculpted arms around my waist.

Ignoring Tobias' harsh concerned eyes, I keep my eyes focused on myself looking at all my imperfections. This girl in front of my is the reasons for all my problems.

Tobias seems to read my mind as he shakes his head before pointing at my at my reflection and speaking softly.

"You know what I see when I look in this mirror?" Tobias murmurs before placing a small kiss in the hollow of my neck. I shake my head slightly, sniffing slightly. "I see a girl who was told she couldn't fight, couldn't defend herself, couldn't have friends."

I look down and away from my reflection but Tobias is having none of it. He straightens up and faces me back to the mirror his fingers pulling slightly on my chin so my eyes meet his in the mirror.

"I see the girl who took matters into her own hands and did all those things." He lips twitch as they curve into a smile. "I see the strongest girl I know. The girl who can do anything she puts her mind to."

"Tobias-"

"No, let me finish." He firmly teases, shutting me up. "I see the girl I have completely fallen in love with. I love you, Beatrice Prior. Everything you do, everything you say, everything you are."

Yet another hopeless tear escapes and Tobias reaches his hand up to wipe it with the pad of his thumb but another just replaces it.

"It's about time you start seeing that girl in the mirror too, Tris." He says, looking into my eyes through the mirror. "I know I can't possibly understand what you're going through. But I want you to remember that, okay?"

I nod slightly but he just raises his eyebrows and uses his large hands on my shoulder, turning me around to face him. His finger hooks under my chin to make him look up into the magical blue eyes that make me weak to my knees.