THE ENEMY WITHIN

THE ENEMY WITHIN Chapter 4

4.

The backpack felt heavy on Max's shoulder.

Doctor Garner glanced up from his notepad as Max walked in for his session. "How are you, Max?"

"I'm here," he said.

"So it appears," Garner said. "And does this mean something beyond the fact that we have a session scheduled? Or is history an indication of what I can expect for the next forty five minutes?"

Max pulled out a stack of psychology books he'd borrowed from the library and set them on the coffee table.

Doctor Garner picked up one of the books, skimmed through it then tossed it back down. A hint of a smile spread across his lips. "Are you self-diagnosing now?"

"No, nothing like that," Max said, realizing this might not have been the best approach. "I just wanted to understand what was happening to me."

Doctor Garner sat back; his eyes were surprisingly clear and focused. "Let's make a deal. You can, and should read anything you like about the mysteries of the mind. But when we're together how about we just talk – human to human? Let's leave the diagnosis on the shelf for now."

"You won't believe me," Max said, still picturing Jamie's green eyes before him. "And I don't blame you. If you told me the things that are going on in my head, I'd get the straightjacket and padded room ready."

"Alas, Hanover was built without those amenities." Garner stood and glanced out the window. "You hungry? I make a hell of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I'm starved."

"Is that a euphemism for another electro-shock therapy session?" Max said.

"No, but that is a much more pleasant way to put it. For today, let's skip the straightjacket. Makes it hard to hold the sandwich."

The cafeteria was empty except for Max and Doctor Garner. They sat at a corner table while Max shared his story. He didn't hold anything back, despite how embarrassed he was talking about his time with Donald and the visions.

Doctor Garner skimmed through his notes while they washed down their second crunchy peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches with lemonade. "It's certainly not a surprise that you'd create a world to escape to. Why it's burning will take some time to decode, but we'll get there. What city is it?"

"I don't know," Max said as he refilled his lemonade. It was pure sugar with a hint of lemon. He liked it. "I've never seen those buildings before except, you know," he pointed to his head, "in here. But they're different – kind of like this ..." He drew one of the spiral shaped towers on a napkin.

"Very impressive. What about the amusement park and the carousel - any special connection for you? Somewhere you went as a child?"

Max shook his head. "It just felt like I was supposed to be there. Like something was waiting for me."

"What do you think that might have been?" Doctor Garner said. "Or perhaps I should ask, was it someone waiting for you?"

Again, Max didn't know. All he could say was that at the time, every nerve and fiber in his body told him to go, despite having no idea where it might be.

"And the girl, the one who manifested in your room the other night, have you met her before? Did you go to school together? Perhaps you saw her around town?"

"Believe me, I'd remember her. It was the first time."

"What was her name again?"

Max had seen Garner write it down earlier, but he repeated it all the same. "Jamie."

"Right, you did mention that." Doctor Garner nodded, gauging Max. "I'd like you to see something." He reached into his case and pulled out his iPad.

Max remembered the camera in his room. Doctor Garner had already seen the video. He'd watched Max and been waiting for the moment to show him. Max felt the blood rushing to his cheeks in shame.

Doctor Garner saw it and put a comforting hand on Max's arm. "I once walked into a lamppost looking at a pretty girl. That's embarrassing. This is just part of the journey. And believe me, we're taking huge steps." Doctor Garner cued up the file. Max watched himself in black and white back away from his window. He was alone. The walls never receded into infinite space. No sign of Jamie. Nothing amiss ... nothing except him.

"Do you see Jamie anywhere in the video?" Doctor Garner said as he froze the image on screen.

"No, but I saw her pretty damn clearly last night. She was as real as you." He braced himself for the snide comment that his foster father might have made, but it never came.

"As real as me?" Doctor Garner said, considering the comment. "How do you know that I'm real?"

"Maybe you're not. I don't know what you want me to say. Looking at this, I get that it didn't happen, but if you were there -"

"Did you feel her hand when she reached out for you?"

There was no way to defend his position. "Before she touched me, I saw the burning city."

"So a moment before physical contact, your mind took you somewhere else," Doctor Garner said, his eyes locked on Max. "Which seems more likely, that you've created an elaborate fantasy, or that defying all laws of the rational world, Jamie, manifested in your room? By the way, did she tell you her name?" Doctor Garner asked.

"Yes," he said defiantly, then backtracked. "No, I just knew," Max said, sinking deeper. "OK, I get it. Can we stop now?"

"Why don't we take a walk."

Max wasn't sure that meant that he was done for the day, but he followed his therapist into the day. Could he actually be more deranged than Garner first thought? That was disheartening.

Doctor Garner paused to pick something up from the ground. "Are you familiar with these?"

It took Max a moment to realize Garner was talking to him. He shook his head. What at first seemed like a rock he realized was a pinecone.

"It's a knob cone. They're hard to crack. Have to hold them over heat so they give up the seeds inside." He threw a sideways glance at Max as if making sure his patient wasn't gauging a run for the fence. "So how did you spend your days after you left home?"

"In a library or museum. Museums don't look too hard at teenagers; I'd blend in with a field trip. At night, I'd work wherever I could – washing dishes or whatever. And there's a few shelters - safety in numbers, that sort of thing. It wasn't that bad."

They moved past a stand of trees and into a small clearing. "I'm surprised you didn't freeze."

"I got by," Max said. While the statement was technically true, it couldn't be farther away from reality. If not the visions, then there were the thieves and the police. He'd always kept his few things hidden and slept ready to run. He hadn't had a real night's rest in months until he arrived at Hanover.

Garner glanced at him askance, as if he could see to the truth, but remained silent.

They came to a patchwork of grass and weeds. "No matter what we do, nothing grows here." Garner said, his wingtips kicking in the dirt.

Max ran his fingers over the earth. The top layer was dry, but underneath the soil was richer. He'd worked for a gardener briefly until his boss couldn't afford to keep him on board any longer. But he'd liked his time toiling in the urban jungle. "Could I try?"

"That would be great. Let me know what you need. By the way, we got transcripts from your old school. Not exceptional work." He looked at Max as if waiting for him to argue. "Yet, your tests, or at least what you finished before making a run for it, showed you could pass college level classes – perhaps even beyond. If I were a gambling man, I'd guess you didn't want to stand out in school. I suppose here, the cat's already out of the bag. Yours is an amazing mind, Max. Don't let that go to waste."

They didn't say another word on the path back.But it seemed significant that Max didn't look at the gate once on the journey.