Our Little Deadly Secret

A New Beginning

I walked into Maac's classroom and closed the door behind me. Then I slowly placed my books and bag on one of the desks in the front row before slowly turning to the whiteboard. I reached without looking for a marker, but felt nothing, causing me to pound my fist against the white board in anger before sliding down onto the floor with tears down-pouring from my face.

From behind me I heard a soft clink against the floor, like the sound a show would make. It stopped, causing me to curl up into a ball, my knees against my chest. Then I felt a hand slowly holding onto my left shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly, but not enough to cause me pain. It was as if it was saying to take a deep breath.

I turned around to find Maac kneeling down behind me, a worried look pressed against his face from the drama I had brought into the room.

I stood up, trying to hide everything that was going through my mind, but I knew it wouldn't work. It never does, apparently. But I try anyways. Just in case for once I can fool someone into thinking I'm fine.

Maac stood up the same time I did, startled at my action before leaning against the desk behind him that held my books and backpack. I walked over to his desk and grabbed the first erasable marker I saw and walked back to the board before slightly hesitating at writing a problem on the board for myself.

"What happened?" Maac asked. I ignored him.

Facing the board, with the marker in hand, I started writing. First some numbers. Then some letters. Until it created an equation that even I wouldn't be able to solve at some point. But I didn't care.

As I kept writing on the board, my mind kept playing the same thing over and over... Noah showing up, him begging for me back, me wanting to forgive him, me watching our hearts shatter into infinite pieces on the ground as I once again walk away from everything he and I created together. Because he couldn't for once see how much he meant to me... how much our relationship meant to not only me but to my family and friends.

And as I kept scribbling, I started to wonder what truth was there really in my relationship with Noah. Was any of it real? Or was I just another conquest that fell to hard for the senior jackass?

I use to complain about being in pain when I was single. No one, though, could earn you about how painful falling in love can be.

"SELENA!" Maac growled as he turned me around, yanking the market out of my hand. Once again, my emotions for the best of me... to the point where the equation that I had written on the board was no longer there. Instead it was an array of scribbled lines and slashes mashed together like an angry green ogre came out of no where and desimated the area of its cleanliness.

I stared between Maac and the mess I created or of pure anger and hatred for Noah's antics. I had officially lost myself and I had no clue if I could find the old happy me, pre-Noah. Before my eyes laid upon him and made me go psychotic in love with him. The chances of that happening is close to nothing since up until three months ago, now, he was my happiness... until I found him with her.

Tears started to trickle down my cheeks as I felt every inch of sanity leave me. Maac's face filled with worry as he pulled me close to him, embracing me in a tight hug. Something that was much needed at the time but something that wouldn't perminately fix all my problems.

Softly combing my hair out of my face with his hand as I held tightly onto him, he whispered in my ear:

"Don't worry about today's touring session... go home, relax, freshen up, and meet me at my place at 6. You're having dinner with me and you're gonna get your thoughts together so you can tell me what is going on. Okay?"

I nodded my head as he reached behind him and handed me my bag from the seat of the desk he was still leaning against. Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I walked out of the classroom and down to my car.