5. So you've been sleeping in my bed for months?

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"Explain to me again why you took him?" Richard asked from behind his sunglasses peeking at Conner who lay stretched out on a sunbed.

Jason smacked his lips. "He invited himself, Richard. I have no idea why he found it necessary to come along."


Conner's bare skin gleamed in the warm rays of the late summer sun. The canopy, which provided him with shadow, moving in the slight breeze made for a fascinating spectacle. Both men were unable to avert their gaze.


"He is truly spectacular," Richard said admiringly. "Even those horrible scars don't reduce his attractiveness. It just gives him something raw. Something animalistic. Like a Wolverine."

The first time Jason saw the scars on Conner's torso he found it impossible to hide the shock on his face. Conner had said nothing, but his eyes pinched together. Then he stepped backwards to avoid Jason touching him. Jason didn't know what to make of this reaction and asking questions was not an option. In the three days that they were here now, Conner was curt and introverted. The continuing surliness of the large and very present man worked on his nerves.

"Is there anyone at work who wonders where you are?", He asked bluntly.

Richard raised his eyebrows. "Is it necessary to rail against the boy?"

"My c.o knows where I am," Conner said unconcerned.

"That is a very noncommittal answer," Jason grumbled dissatisfied. "I thought you had an office job. How come you can just stay away?" He continued whining.

"Funny," said Conner.

"What's funny?" Jason snapped.

Conner turned to his side and looked at Jason. "It's funny to see how badly you handle ambiguities while you effortlessly left your family in limbo for six months."

"How often do I have to apologize for that?" Jason exclaimed angrily. Frustrated, he rose from his seat and walked inside.

Richard thoughtfully followed his friends retreat. He felt Conner look at him and after a moment of doubt, he turned to him. "I understand that this past year has been difficult for you, Conner, but you have no idea how Jason ..." he hesitated. "Have you ever seen him during a project?"

"No," was the short answer.

"He works crazy hours and loses everything in sight, except his work."

Conner laughed scornfully. "That excuse I have heard enough from Karen. She did nothing but protect his neglectful behavior." He pressed his lips together. 'Sorry, Richard. I see you're a loyal friend, but I can't forgive his egotism so easily." He grabbed his shirt and stood up. "Excuse me."

Richard exhaled with difficulty while Conner strode away. "Conner?" He called after him. "Can I buy you a coffee?"

The man threw a dark look toward the house.

"In the village," he explained.

"Do they have whiskey?" Grumbled Conner.

"Yes, but not for you. I've seen your medication," Richard replied sternly.

"It's a dangerous place to stand between a man and his whiskey," Conner challenged him.

"Or between a man and his desire," Richard flirted back.

The mild smile surprised him.

Together they strolled to the village.

"You're different than I imagined," Richard said leaning back in his bistro chair looking at the people walking by.

"Why do you say that?" Conner asked relaxed, sipping his whiskey.

"Jason described you're first encounter. From what I understood you were not really gay-friendly." The man could see that his remark did not go over well. "I mean, I can see that you've changed," he hastened to say.

"No longer the small minded idiot that Jason took me for?" It sounded sharp. With a firm gulp he emptied his glass and motioned to the waitress for a new one. Richard silently sipped his wine. After a decent silence Conner put his empty glass down with a bang. "Are you finally done defending him?"

Richard shrugged. "You haven't been willing to accept his apology. I do not see why my words would carry more weight."

"Explain to me why the reason for his absence no longer plays a role," Conner demanded.

"What?" Richard asked, startled. Both the question and the tone surprised him.

"His work kept him from San Francisco. That result I have seen. Now I'm here. The place he couldn't say goodbye too and all I see is him constantly alone and miserable." He raised his hands in an asking gesture. "Where is his muse? Where is the one who so enchanted him for six months?"

Richard sighed. "Let me ask you a question. Why is the identity of Blue Boy so important to you? Relationships end. Artists owe their most successful pieces to it."

Conner looked at him sulking.

"Accept his apology and put this period behind you. The good friend you had to miss for so long is here and available. Give him a chance to show you this."

Back at the house Conner walked determined to Jason's bedroom. He knocked on the open door where Jason was busy packing his bag. "I'm willing to accept your apology on the condition that you change the way you work dramatically. Your done with excluding people. This condition is not negotiable."

Jason hadn't turned around and looked through the window of the flower valley. A stab of pain passed through his heart. "I can't promise anything," he said hoarsely.

"Yes or no!" Conner demanded.

Jason turned with a jerk. "I refuse to lie just to appease you," he said vehemently. "If you are not able to accept my apology, at least give me the opportunity to regain your trust."

"Why this is about what you need?" Conner asked. "Did you really think I'm giving you a hard time just for my benefit? Jason, you have no idea in what kind of misery you left Karen."

He looked at the floor and remembered Duncan's sermon. "Lying to you will not erase that. I realize I have a lot to make up for and I'll do my best."

Conner looked unhappy at the sight of the chin stubbornly pointing out.

The subject was not touched again during the long flight to San Francisco. In fact they barley spoke except for the most necessary things. Karen was waiting for them. Her: "Welcome home", combined with an extra big hug added to his guilt.

"Thanks again for the tickets for the soccer and theater. We were so surprised when the hotel manager handed over the package."

Jason felt the eyes of Conner burning in the back of his head. "Glad to hear it."

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