Insecure (Completed)

26

A/N: Hey loves! Once again, thanks for all the support my reads are climbinggggggg even though y'all killing me in the comment section 😭 y'all stay coming for my characters but it's cool, it's cool. I see how it is 🗣. I do wanna say, pleaseeeeeee don't argue in the comment section, give me positive vibes 🙌🏾. I don't delete comments, don't nobody got time fa that 🗣, so be nice!

Yazmine

Midterms week flew by. Before I knew it, it was time for me to get on a plane back to Atlanta. I was leaving Wednesday night, but Amari wasn't leaving until Thursday.

Since Trey and Devonte lived in Indiana, all they had to do was drive home. Ever since Amari's assault, once again I felt Tae becoming distant. I couldn't even say it was because of that, because there was also the fact that his father was getting out of prison. Whenever I asked him about it, he would shut me out.

I wasn't trying to let him ruin my good mood, though. As long as I can remember, I've always loved Thanksgiving. I didn't like the history surrounding the holiday, but I liked how family got together and ate and laughed and gave thanks.

I'd been in constant communication with my parents as the break drew closer. I was so ready to leave Indiana behind and the stress of school and relationships. I didn't know where Devonte's head was at, and I could only push him for so long.

"You straight?"

I looked up from where I was zipping my suitcase closed and met Devonte's eyes.

"Oh, so you talking to me now?" I was officially packed now, and I could spare a little time for Devonte and his moods.

"Fuck that supposed to mean?" He squinted at me.

"It means you been acting so distant. Like I can tell something bothering you, but you swear everything's good."

He shook his head. "It ain't nothing I wanna discuss that's all."

"Is it your dad?"

He just looked at me, silent. This was the type of shit that's stressed me out. How was I supposed to trust him when I knew he was keeping stuff from me, intentionally?

"Talk to me, Tae. Please." Striding over to where he stood, with his arms folded, I grabbed his face in my hands, and tilted it down towards me. "I wanna be there for you, but you won't let me."

He tried to look away but I didn't loosen my grip. "It ain't shit you can do, though."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do."

Exasperated, I turned away from him, hauling my suitcase up. "Fuck it Devonte, I give up. You wanna keep everything bottled up inside and shit? That's cool, but don't expect me to stay."

"What you mean don't expect you to stay? You gonna leave me? That some bullshit, Yazmine."

"Nah, you being covert and hiding shit is some bullshit. I told you, in the beginning that if we were gonna do this relationship, you were gonna have to share things with me." My eyes darted as I looked around to make sure I wasn't leaving anything behind. I had a plane to catch. I could feel tears threatening, but I blinked them back.

"I did open up Yaz. About my momma, and my pops, and Bre. I'm a fucking open book now, Jesus," he snapped.

"It's not a one time thing, it's a constant thing. You're hiding something, and I need to know what it is. Tell me."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Aight. Damn. I ain't know you cared that much."

"You should!" He had me fucked up. Not only did I care that much, I cared too much.

"I know I been distant, I can't even lie and say I haven't." He exhaled and took a seat on the bed.

"I hate it when you distant." Abandoning my luggage, I sat next to him.

"That nigga, the one Mari was fucking with, he's..."

"I know you said your brother has beef with him," I said impatiently.

"Yeah but that ain't all of it. He's my blood cousin."

"What?" I recoiled. "Why would you want your cousin dead?"

"He may be blood but he ain't family. That nigga ain't done nothing but grimey shit, and he tried to kill me."

"Oh, Tae..." I reached for him, but I couldn't understand it. His own blood, trying to murder him? What kind of life did Devonte have?

As if reading my mind he sighed. "I ain't have the easiest life, Yaz. I almost made the mistake of getting caught up in the drug game, but it was only cuz I was young and dumb, and I looked up to my brother. I ain't sell or nun, but sometimes I would hang out with him and his boys. They were living the lavish life and I wanted that shit. My music, I was just starting off with it, but Dre, he had come up in the world. One time, when I was rolling with him and his crew, I got caught in gunfire. I looked right into the eyes of Malik as he tried to kill me. I was seventeen years old."

"Jesus." I shook my head. I knew nothing about the streets, or guns, or gunshots. But what I did know was I loved this man, and his pain was mine.

"And about my pops? I ain't ready to see him yet, but maybe seeing him will be good for me. I have eleven years of questions for his ass." He sounded angry.

I was just glad he let me in. "I'm sure he has eleven years of answers." I leaned into Devonte's arms, enjoying how safe and secure they made me feel.

Devonte was such a layered person. He was a lover and a fighter. A singer. A rapper. He had many stories to tell. Maybe one day, he would tell a love story. The story of us.