if only i listened to those last four words
more carefully
because if i did
maybe i everyone would be
less angry at me
maybe everyone wouldn't
blame me for
you being gone
maybe i wouldn't blame myself
i soak myself in your sweater
your scent is so rough
yet so fragile
it tears me apart
i haven't eaten
or slept in awhile
i haven't lived in awhile
people say i need help
but the only thing i need
is you
you're the only thing that could fix me right now
i see your face in my dreams
but it isn't you
it's what my mind creates of you
all it knows
is that i'm sad
and i want to see you again
even if it's
a jumble of meaningless things
i play a game with myself
everytime i say your name
in my head
i take a pill
i'm going to die tonight.
