Guard up, Oscar Diaz

TWENTY-EIGHT

PART TWENTY-EIGHT

WARNING: This chapter contains a suicide. If you're sensitive to such, I advice you proceed with caution (it's not a bloody suicide though)❗️

Ξ GU,OD Ξ

Oscar kept his gaze lingered on Sin while she was too occupied to notice his presence. She sat by Julio and the rest of the guys. She carried a tired smile at the corners of her mouth, but Oscar knew better. She wasn't okay. Her hand would reach over, and over again towards the 40 that sat beside her crate. It broke him. It terrified him. The ten year old in him still remembered the sombre nights when his uncle from his father's side would come home, fucking hammered and rape his mother before his very eyes.

The sight was still painted in vibrant colors on the walls of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes he could faintly hear his mother's weeping, like a soft lullaby playing in the background. Luckily, Cesar was still young at the time. Oscar took advantage of that and ran away with him while he was still able to forget his naive mother and abusive uncle.

Oscar's jarred thoughts came to a halt as soon as he caught sight of Sin's current occupation. He roughly snatched the joint from between her lips and threw it on the dead grass, extinguishing it with his foot. "Sin, what the fuck are you doing?" He barked angrily.

She stood up and attempted to walk past Oscar. He grabbed ahold of her arm and pulled her back. "Nah, you're gonna listen to me, love. You haven't been yourself these past months. You've been wallin' out! When I said be brave, this wasn't what I meant!" He quipped, sternly placing his hand on both sides of her face. She on the contrary, rolled her eyes and exhaled a deep sigh. "You like to fucking nag all the time. You're just like my father, everything I do is wrong, nothing I do is appreciated!"

She roughly slapped his hands away and pushed him out of her way. "Sin! This is not what Rico would've wanted!" Oscar cooed after her. She stood transfixed, the familiar burning from these past months finding its way back to her eyes. Her chin trembled and tears threatened to spill out of her orbs. "You're not doing him any justice by behaving like this." Oscar's voice spoke softly. She felt his presence behind him and tensed up ever so slightly.

He reached for her hand which trembled immensely. He drew her against him, just for a moment before Sin's reality seemed to seep into her consciousness. She once again pulled back, "Fuck you." She muttered hatefully before storming off.

I sat by the gleaming pool which reflected the moon's luminous light. Starring up at the starry skies, the wisp of a small smile painted my lips. The stars reminded me of my son. My beautiful son. The lies I told Oscar regarding his son still pained me until this day, but I knew that this was for the best. I loved Oscar. I still love him dearly. But I wasn't that blinded by his love to know that he wouldn't take care of Lazario. That's why I did what I had to do.

He's at a better place. I swiveled my gaze down to my legs. That bastard I still dare to love amputated my legs and cut my tongue off. That's how deep my love ran for him. It was almost becoming an obsession, my love. It wasn't natural.

A voice awoke me from my musings. "Diana. You ready to come to bed?" Ruiz questioned, peeking his head out of the glass door. Ruiz Diaz. Spooky's father. I know, it's messed up, but if Oscar doesn't want me, I can easily get another Diaz, right?

I shook my head. "Just a few minutes." I signed. He nodded, shooting me a small smile before returning back into the beach house. Ruiz was nice. He learned me sign language and the whole nine, but he wasn't as nice as Spooky. My Spooky. A sinister smile gathered on the corners of my mouth as I grabbed the pen and paper which laid on my lap. Clicking the pen, I began to write,

'My dear Ruiz,

You have been so sweet to me. Everything you did, you did in the name of love. You taught me how to smile again, but your son.. he taught me how to love. I love(d) you son so deeply. I carried his son. Lazario Ramiro Diaz. I told Oscar he was dead, but he isn't. It is your job to find him and bring him home.

You catered to me during my highest and lowest points. That's something I can't repay.

You are my true happiness, but Spooky is my true soulmate. I wish that I could give you the same amount of love you gave me, but it just isn't meant to be.

Tell Spooky I said I love him and tell his bitch that see'll see me soon in her dreams.

Yours and Spooky's truly,

Bonnie.'

Placing the last letter upon the paper, I couldn't help but to feel.. relieved. It felt as if the shackles of stress slowly released my body into the free world. I ran the tip of my finger along my collarbone, before removing my locket and placing it upon the letter which laid on the cement ground. I moved my wheelchair closer to the pool, seeing my reflection hover upon the water.

I caressed the raw skin that adorned my amputated legs. They had cut my legs so brutally, that I only had 2/4 left to call 'legs.' But it didn't matter. Spooky did it because he loved me.

Without glancing back at the beach house, Diana pushed herself out of the wheelchair, being engulfed by water. There was no one else around to see her leap into the deep water and no one to hear her sink into the water peacefully, entirely accepting her chosen fate. The water embraced her and pulled her deeper. She soon hit the tiled bottom of the pool, watching a few bubbles of air escape her mouth and float towards the surface of the water.

Diana began to smile, despite her dire situation, at how amazing the water felt as it caressed her skin and how beautiful the starry night sky looked through the glassy surface. Soon, she couldn't feel the water anymore or see the stars and she began to panic— swiftly regretting her plan, but she couldn't thrash any longer. The water pushed its way into her lungs and forcefully took what was left of her miserable life.

"Hijo, just talk to her. I've seen you two at a much worse place than this." Jose, Rico's abuelito quipped. Oscar wistfully shook his head. "It's bad, Sé. This time it isn't some petty argument, she acting like this because of Rico.. it's affecting her real bad."

Jose cast his eyes downward, still feeling the loss of his grandson greatly. Oscar rested his head in his hands. The only sound that echoed against the dull, white walls was the machine which monitored Jose's heart-rate. The rhythmical beeping almost soothed the tense atmosphere that hovered above the two like a dark cloud. "She'll come around. Let me talk to her." Abuelito chimed.

Pulling his phone out, Oscar swiftly sent a message regarding visitation. Several silent minutes later she responded,

Sin: I'm busy. Don't text me about Jose. I don't wanna see him.

Sin: Matter of fact, don't text me at all. Lose my number.