The Reluctant Queen

Chapter 6

I hardly saw my intended. There were some days when we broke our fast together. This was always done with our attendants there to be sure nothing untoward happened before our marriage. We spoke briefly at those times, though it was very formal. The weather, wedding preparations and if I was comfortable were the topics. One thing I could say for him. He was very good with Quai. I went by her rooms and watched him play dolls with her. I also watched from the window and smiled as he chased her around the yard and played with my dogs as well.

One day at breakfast, he asked me of Terry. What kind of boy he was, what did he like to do. Tears sprung to my eyes to think of him not being here.

"Forgive me, my lady, I did not mean to bring you sadness." He offered.

"No, your highness, you have brought me joy to think of my son. I miss him dearly. He is my own heart. When I was lonely and scared and abandoned, it was he who brought me comfort. Just to lay him on my bosom and have him look at me with love has brought me through my days."

"I am sure those first days of widowhood were surely painful, as they would be for anyone."

"They were, though the days I speak of, I was very much a wife." I recounted for him.

He looked shocked to hear it. Then I thought I saw a look of pity flash across his face.

"Well, when we are married, and Terry comes to visit, I am sure he will be your comfort. Even then, we know boys must be raised to fit their station, and he is of high account."

"Yes, you are quite right. I am sure I am just showing the soft heart of a mother. I am sorry if I have offended you." I apologized.

"There is nothing to apologize for, my lady. You are a mother. If you did not miss him, I would be worried. Now, as our wedding is in two weeks' time and the coronation shortly after, there is much to be done. I will leave you to it." he announced.

He stood, bowed and left without a second glance. Back in my apartments my ladies and I were pulled and measured for our dresses. We also spoke and gossiped as women do.

"The prince confuses me. He is different on every occasion that he meets with you." Lethia stated as the seamstress pinned her dress to fit her buttocks, which were perfect and the envy of almost every woman at every court.

"He is mysterious. I will give him that." Chimed in Nicole. "Though I think some intrigue is always exciting. And in your case, needed."

"And just what does that mean?" I asked as I turned to look at her

"Just that with the Earl, there was nothing. It was plain he did not love you the way in which you deserved. I mean, you have been a widow for well over a year. I ask you, when was the last time he visited your bed before he met his end? It was before your confinement with Quai, if I am not mistaken." She spoke, answering her own question.

"You are not wrong. There was Annalise, the servant girl, who held his attentions at that time, if I remember correctly." I stated as the seamstress struggled to measure my perfectly shaped hips as I moved about talking with my ladies.

"It was for her he was showing off when he had his accident." Lethia chimed in with that stark reminder.

"I had heard the same, it was her scream that brought the servants running. I believe the horse almost fell on them both." Nicole said as she held her long and slender arms out to have her large bosom measured.

"Though, it was kind of you to keep her in your service in the kitchens after his death" Lethia stated.

"Kind, well now I am disappointed. I thought it was for spite. I was quite proud of you when I thought that." Nicole added, and we all laughed.

"I wonder that this prince does not realize he is getting a virgin" Lethia said.

"Now, that would be something. I, a virgin with two children. Please explain that logic."

Lethia went on. "We know your wedding night was no great pleasure to you. Not that it is for any woman, but even less so for you. As you know, we were to witness your consummation, as is the way. It was painful for us to bear watching you in such agony. Though, at least it was over quickly." We all laughed at that.

Nicole chimed in, "We were so happy that you conceived so quickly."

"It did seem to save me from his attentions, He only came back to my bed to try for another heir. To be honest, I missed it not. It was a feeling of pure dread when he would knock on my doors. Drunk and ready to try for Quai." My hand flew to my mouth immediately after speaking. "I don't think I have ever admitted that to anyone before. Not even the lot of you." I said to my ladies.

Nicole came over to hug me and whispered, "We are your best friends in this world. Do you think we did not know this, it filled us with the same dread? Our hearts broke for you."

I then began to cry as Le sent the seamstress away. "That is enough for now. Her highness needs a break. Come back on the morrow." They exchanged pitied glances, curtsied and left us alone with my other ladies. I continued to bawl as they all tried to comfort me.

"What is your fear?' Asked Gia, a new maid to my service.

"That I shall fare no better in this marriage. He seems easily changeable and he is yet to even be named a king. That gives him more power to cruelty than an Earl or Duke can have to their wives."

"Yes..but" spoke Landa, a close maid in my service for two years now, "But, what if he is everything you desire? Remember, he has known loss too. Two wives and a brother. He was never to be king. He was the second son. He only thought to war and live as the Duke of Salem. Protecting his father's realm." She reminded us all.

I thought for a moment and then replied. "You may be right, and he is good with Quai. He also promises to send for Terry to visit after the wedding. For me, that is kindness enough. For him to love my children." I conceded.

I turned to another of my ladies. "Joy, send to the seamstress. We shall finish this yet or I fear I shall have to walk down the aisle in a sheet" We all laughed as she went to send word we were ready to continue.

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