White As A Lie

14: Another Murder

I came home in a fit of rage. I wasn't sure if I was angry because he knew I was the robber, or because he actually thought I killed my wife.

No one likes to be accused of something they didn't do.

Of course, he was right about the robbery.

Still, he has no proof. He has nothing on me, for both cases. Sure, I need money, but lot's of people need money and they don't rob sandwich shops.

I needed to get out of this house. I was only getting angrier and angrier. That's when I saw the mail. I knew I shouldn't look through it. Something in there would only make more mad.

But I looked through them anyway. A letter from the bank.

Oh great.

I opened it up and started reading. When I was done, I slowly put it down, then headed outside.

I haven't had enough money lately to pay for, well, anything, so the bank is giving me thirty days to pay them or else I lose the house.

It was darkening outside, and the stars were peeking through.

I needed to calm down. Many things were running through my head, things I didn't want running through my head. When I passed by Crystal's old house, I stopped. It was almost April now. How long ago was that walk we took? Was that January? February? I couldn't even remember. It was snowy, I remembered that.

Now that spring has arrived, the snowy days have stopped. It was still cool enough for a light jacket.

Anyway, that was the day that Crystal seemed to change her mind. That she believed I didn't kill Nicole. I thought they had moved passed thinking it was me. I mean, I had three blood tests, and they all came out white. But now I'm beginning to believe they aren't looking for my wife's killer, but trying to find ways to continue blaming me.

Why don't I look for her killer myself? I'd have no idea where to start. I can't think of anyone who would want to kill her.

The only names that come to mind are Mr. Johnston, her boss, and Morgan O'Malley, the woman who got the promotion instead of her.

But Morgan wouldn't kill Nicole to make sure she got the promotion. She already had the promotion when Nicole died. Unless Nicole threatened her, and Morgan came in the middle of the night--

No, Nicole wouldn't threaten anyone. Not to their face, anyway. If she had threatened her, she would've said it to me, then never actually go through with it.

And Mr. Johnston? As far as I knew, Mr. Johnston truly respected the hell out of Nicole. Why he never gave her a raise... maybe he liked her too much and didn't want to lose her.

Well, look where we are now.

She was stabbed in the stomach and the back. Nicole couldn't have done that herself. Perhaps the stomach, but the back...

Who would possibly stab themself in the back?

The thought of Nicole harming herself made me sick. The thought of anyone harming Nicole made me sick.

I looked back up at the stars and sighed. I wanted this all to go away. I wanted Nicole back, and no one to be accused of murder or robbery.

Then a thought came into my head: Alton isn't going to let this go anytime soon. He'll tell his fellow police officers, Crystal will show up on my doorstep once more accusing me of things. I'll be convicted of robbery and sent to jail.

I suppose that's better than for murder.

But I didn't want to go to jail at all. My mother would be bouncing off the walls in anger if I were to go, God rest her soul.

I needed to talk to Alton, get him to change his mind or at least beg him to get more evidence before reporting me.

I run back to my house and hopped into my car so I could drive back to the O'Quinn's.

***
I knocked on their door. Alton answered. "Nolan?"

I let myself in. "Have you told anyone else?"

Alton frowned like he didn't know what I meant, then his face cleared. "No. No one else."

"It wasn't me, Alton. Please believe me." Lying was beginning to be easier for me. "I'm desperate, but I'm not that desperate yet."

Alton looked me over with a look of understanding for a second. "Nolan...I can't just ignore a suspect. You may have put Crystal under your spell of innocence and sympathy, but not me." His blue eyes were cold. Very cold.

Mine were colder.

"I still need a job, Alton. I need money or else my house will be taken from me. If I'm accused of robbery and murder, no one will even let me be interviewed. I need a job!"

He shrugged. "All the more reason to commit a robbery."

I frowned at him. No, I glared at him. "You would make me suffer even more?"

"I'm not trying to-"

"Are any of you policemen even looking for my wife's killer? Or are you seriously just finding ways to throw me in jail? Huh?"

"Of course we're looking for her killer, Alton. It's hard, though. You're the only one who could've possibly-"

"It wasn't me, damn it!" I yelled and slammed my fist on the counter.

Alton jumped a little. "Nolan, please calm down. When Crystal gets back, we can all talk about it. I'm not trying to ruin your life. I'm just doing my job."

"Too late." I muttered and shook my head. I just now realized that I was backing him into the kitchen. He kept looking to his right at or for something.

"Nolan..." His voice was calm, but his face gave away his fear. "Take it easy. No one's getting arrested tonight." He looked at me steadily. "If you truly didn't do either crime, then why are you so worried everyone will find out?"

He had me there. I suppose coming there and asking him not to tell anyone I was the robber looked pretty suspicious.

In a moment of panic, I found myself picking up a knife from the knife rack on the wall to my right. Alton lunged to his right as a lunged at him.

"Drop the knife!" He yells, pointing his gun at me.

I didn't do as he said. Not really. I threw it and grabbed another one. The one I threw just missed his arm. I threw this one, and another one.

"Nolan!" He dodged them all.

I grabbed the last one and came at him. He took a shot, and the bullet skimmed my arm. I could feel the contact it made with my skin. But the knife I had in my hand made better contact with him.

I stabbed him right in his stomach and pulled it out for good measure. Then I snatched the gun out of his hands as he crumpled to the floor.

He lay flat on his back and held his hand over the bloody wound I created.

My breathing slowed, and as it did, my senses came back to me. I could see myself in the reflection of the glass door standing over Alton with a bloody knife and gun. I dropped the knife and set the gun down carefully on the counter.

I crouched down to the floor and looked at Alton in a mixture of horror and shock. "Oh my God..." I didn't know what to do, how to feel. "Alton?"

He never took his eyes off mine. He just looked at me. His breathing slowed to a stop and his eyes finally closed.

I sat there and cried. Cried into my knees, into my sleeve. I killed a man. I killed my friend's husband of three fucking days. I killed my friend. I killed a cop. I put my hand on his. It was pale, but still warm, like the rest of him.

Just then I heard a car door close. I quickly got up and grabbed the gun and knife and ran out the back door just in time to hear a scream from inside the house.