The Aurelia⎪✓

{20}

Pulchritudinous

(adj.) beautiful

♡

"And our last stop, the school of our pack." Arrax told me and pointed towards a colorful building with children running around, their laughter reached us all the way over here and it warmed my heart. Seeing how carefree all of them were, it reminded me of my childhood, I loved it. One girl walked around with her head down and I saw myself so much in her, how I'd changed from carefree to secluded and nervous. "Are you okay, Aspen?"

Meeting his intense eyes, I tried my best to give him a smile, "Yeah, I just miss my family, I guess." He seemed shocked that I mentioned anything about my past life, but it did make sense, I hadn't really talked to anyone about what I came from or where. It wasn't even because I didn't want to, but I just couldn't tell him these things, it would raise questions. 

"What were they like?" He asked with genuine curiosity. 

Trying to remember them reopened wounds I'd rather keep closed, but I couldn't dismiss him when I was the one to open the subject. "My mom, she could be your best friend one second, but the next she would shift into her strict motherly role, if I said anything I'd done that was out of the ordinary. I loved making up stories just to see that shift in her, it was honestly hilarious." A small smile reached my lips as thoughts about my parents crowded my memories, "Dad was a completely different person, while mom was the sweetest and most empathetic, he could be extremely cold and dismissive towards strangers. I knew it was to protect us deep down though, he always tried his best."

Arrax's soft gaze threw me off for a minute, but I composed myself again. "Both of them really loved me, they would do just about anything to ensure my future and my happiness. Sometimes they'd even do too much, I know they meant well, but they didn't always know how to show it." Shaking my head to rid myself of that dreaded day, I smiled at Arrax, "You'd probably think I was more like my mother, her sassiness never failed to amaze me."

A rough hand grabbed my soft one and guided me away from the school, we sat down on a secluded bench, his brown eyes searching mine so intently. "Aspen, what happened to you?"

"I don't..." It was hard to talk about, "I can't.. Not yet."

A thick and heavy silence sat upon us, I knew he wanted to know, but telling him would also ensure my death. It wasn't a gamble I was willing to take, not now, not ever. If I really thought about it, him and I probably didn't have a great shot at a future together either way. He didn't know what I was and even if he did and accepted, he would need his entire pack's approval to make another species their Luna. Our fate was doomed from the start and a heavy pain placed itself on my heart. 

"I know you didn't ask, but you shared and I want to share with you as well. I trust you, Aspen." He intertwined our hands, the jitters had returned in my stomach. "My parents were killed when I was only 16 years old, from what I heard, the Aurelia found them and my dad was weakened due to a sickness, he couldn't put up a fight. My mother refused to leave his side, even though she could've saved herself, but seeing your mate get killed, I know now that she wouldn't have been the same woman I knew either way." 

I squeezed his hand, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Arrax. Please know that I appreciate you telling me."

It was always hard to know what to say in those situations, but from past experiences, I would rather have others say anything really, than nothing at all. After losing someone close to you, it could very easily scare people off, but I refused to be scared by the fact that Arrax had lost his parents at such a young age. It ripped at my heart to think about how horribly he must've felt.

Also how he said an Aurelia was behind it, I hoped that it was just some stupid rumor. If an Aurelia actually had killed his parents and he thought that there was only one living Aurelia, then him and I could never work out, our bond would mean nothing if he suspected that I'd killed his parents. I would even understand if he killed me then, his pack hated me so ruefully because I supposedly had killed their previous Alpha and Luna. This couldn't get any worse, all odds were against us. 

"I don't have any other family, so the elders in the pack brought me up and readied me to take my father's place as the Alpha. I became Alpha at the age of 17, even though it's against the rules. I'm just trying to tell you that I know what it feels like losing your parents, I want you to know that you're not alone in this." His honest words tugged at my heart, he didn't know the truth, my parents weren't killed in a horrible tragedy, they just disowned me. 

I leaned my head against his shoulder, showing him my support through our bodies. Arrax kissed my temple and we fell into a comfortable silence, my mind was racing 100 miles an hour anyway, so a conversation was off the table. As thoughts were swarming my mind, drowning me in the 'what if's', I knew this was going to be absolute torture. He and I had no chance of surviving, not with a bond filled with lies and I refused to con him into mating with me, only to find out my true species afterwards. 

I couldn't and I wouldn't lie to him like that, too much of a low blow, too much in general.