Who Are You?

Arc 1.15 - Alex McGuire

Eric has been feeling increasingly strange.

For the past week he's been unconsciously glancing at his phone every other minute, as if wanting to know if a call or even text came from Alex.

He should be happy that he isn't here to bother him, but he's not. Eric doesn't know when but he's been thinking about Alex a lot during this week. During his morning runs, when he's reading a book, when he's trying to finish up some left over work, even when he went out to fight someone to let out some stress. His thoughts and feelings towards Alex were continuously changing and following him like a ghost.

Thankfully, he had rescheduled his work for the whole week, otherwise he had a feeling that he would always be dazing off during meetings.

Just when he was about to take a shower, his phone buzzed. He immediately rushed over to his phone. It was a text from Alex.

All it said was that the plan to kidnap Leo White has to be delayed for a few weeks. No emoji, no squiggly line (A/N: This thing ~~. Idk what it's called, I only know how to use it lol), nothing about last week or food or even 'hot stuff' was mentioned.

He just felt disappointment in himself after reading the text. He didn't know what he was expecting, what he had wanted. Nothing made sense.

Feeling annoyed, he just threw his phone on his bed and walked back to the bathroom. Pressing some buttons on a glass control pad in the bathroom wall made the overhead shower start running with water. He slid his finger across in a circle motion on the screen and the temperature of the water began rising. Eric took out a new towel from the shelf, putting it on a hook closer to the shower for easier access.

Stripping himself of his soft long-sleeved-shirt, he looked at himself in the mirror. Stretching his neck to the side, he could see several signs of hickeys being scattered around. It's been a week but they're still visible. That insufferable man put them in places where others could easily see them, yet another reason for taking the week off.

Lightly dragging his fingers through them, he clearly remembered that morning. Even after having a whole week to his thoughts, Eric still couldn't fully understand why he let Alex do that. More over, why he still pretended to be asleep when he woke up to Alex doing those things.

'Was it because I wanted to know what he would do?'

'Is it because I used him to get rid of my apparent loneliness?'

'I had let him do stuff to me...do I like him?'

'Sherry doesn't even love me, so what's the use in keeping my feelings for her for so long. I've realized that she has been using me to her advantage, and I let her as if I'm some kind of pushover. Have I been doing the same to Alex? Using him to my advantage? For Sherry?'

'I'm not even gay, yet I didn't feel any disgust when Alex had kissed me that night. Then just last week...he did a bit more than just kissing.'

'No, this isn't like me! Damn him!'

Bringing his thoughts with him into the steaming-hot glass-shower, he tried to find an answer to his questions. The overhead shower on the ceiling completely engulfed Eric in the hot water.

'But...What will he do next time? Will there even be a next time? Will I let him?'

Eric imagined Alex. He imagined what Alex would do if he was here, right now. Alex's hands would be going all over Eric's body. He would be kissing him, sucking on him, devouring him inch by inch until Eric-

"Shit! What am I doing?" Eric leaned against the grey marble wall. Thinking of such shameful things wasn't good. Especially in the shower, and about Alex.