The Sky is Everywhere

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I don't realise how much my friends have been discussing the Trials until I finally rejoin them, both physically and mentally. Considering that I've been pushing them away for days, I expect them to cold-shoulder me, but Taffy gives me a nod and a smile, and I realise that she must have told the others that I'm struggling with something private.

Guilt is a quick bolt to my heart.

Maybe I can't tell my friends everything that's going on, but that doesn't excuse cutting them out, either. It doesn't excuse dismissing them. I can't dip in and out of their lives when it's convenient for me, and that's what I have been doing lately. That can't happen again.

At dinnertime, Priya is noticeably off her food, pushing a piece of chicken around her plate with her fork.

Sonny watches her with big, worried eyes.

"What if I don't pass?" she says at last, looking up at us.

My first instinct is to assure her that she will, same as I do whenever Taffy worries, but . . . Priya's fears are justified.

We still have no idea what the Trials entail, but they're at least partly physical or we wouldn't have trained for years for them. Our health wouldn't be carefully monitored.

Priya is already at a disadvantage, having joined the CC so much later than everyone else, but more than that, she simply isn't built for this. She's as small and delicate as a baby bird, not yet growing into her feathers. How can she be expected to compete against people who are so much bigger and stronger than her, people who have trained for this so much longer?

"What if you all pass and I don't, and then we get separated and we never see each other again?" Priya says, blinking back tears.

"That's not going to happen," says Sonny at once.

Priya sinks her teeth into her lip. "But it is."

Pointing out that there's no guarantee any of us will pass is not the comfort she needs. I itch to tell her that, no matter what happens, the Trials will not be the end of us. I want to tell her that she's right – we shouldn't have to take tests to prove our value as human beings. I want to tell her that even if we can't stop the Trials, Rosie will still disable our Trackers and get us out of here.

But I have to keep my mouth shut, however difficult it is. I can't tell them what's going on, and I can't draw attention to myself from anyone else who might be listening.

Priya's eyes shine with tears and she gulps down a sob. "Sorry," she mumbles, wiping her eyes. "I'm just . . . I'm scared."

I think of the wooden bird I smuggled up to my bedroom. I'm not the only one who wants to fly away from here. I'm not the only one desperately trying to find her way out of a cage.

But, unlike Priya, I know that there is hope. I hold it close to my heart every day, bright and shining. I have to share some of that light with her.

I cover her small hand with mine. "No matter what happens, even if it we are all separated, we will find a way back to you," I tell her.

I don't care what it takes; I will not leave her alone in the wide open sky.

Priya sniffles a bit, but she's smiling too as she looks up at me, and I really hope that I've lit up some of her darkness.

I'm suddenly very aware of someone watching me, and I look up to see Cole, staring at us from further down the table. I'm not sure if she's close enough to have overheard anything, but it's pretty clear that Priya's upset.

I tense, waiting for Cole to sneer or insult us, but she doesn't say anything. She's not even looking at Priya; her eyes are fixed on me, and I have no idea how to interpret her expression