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Alex rolled off Elizabeth, looking up at the ceiling as Elizabeth lay in regret. This wasn't a part of her plan and somehow, Alex convinced her to sleep with him once again. She watched as he reached over for a cigarette, but before he could light it, she took it out of his mouth.
"One, those will kill you. Two, don't get me smelling like your smoke. Grace'll notice."
"She'll notice the smudged makeup and the frazzled hair too. Damien will too. Serves him right for leaving a bird like you unmarried."
"Fuck off." Elizabeth sat up, looking for her clothes that were now scattered around the room. She put on her socks, then her slip and then her dress. "That was the last time, Alex. I'm serious. I don't want to do this anymore. I fucking let you convince me to do it once again."
"Hey, it takes two." Elizabeth went to his mirror that was hanging in his room, pinning her hair up so it wouldn't look as messy.
"Fuck off. This time was a mistake, okay? You understand that?" She felt Alex trace shapes onto her back, standing behind her, watching her through the mirror.
"And what about all those times between?"
"Those. Those are just memories, nothing more." She saw Alex smirking and she hit his shoulder gently. "Just because they were mistakes doesn't mean they're bad memories. But, they're memories, nonetheless, okay?"
"Okay. And will you be telling Grace before or after you leave for Ireland?"
"That's your job, Alex. I told Damien in a letter." Elizabeth felt Alex freeze his movements and looked up into the mirror, seeing his eyes widened. "I wish it was in person, but I wanted him to know."
"Did he say anything?"
"I haven't sent it yet. I'm sending it after I get the photograph back. Besides, he isn't at the front lines yet, he's probably still walking to the line."
"They have trucks."
"He said the wounded took the trucks so most of the men are walking."
"Then they're never going to make it. The Germans will pick them off easily. Guess that means you're basically single again." Elizabeth felt her stomach drop. "Shit, he'll be fine, he's got to come back to you."
"Don't fucking touch me." She pushed his hand off her shoulder and pushed past him and out his front door, not bothering to check to see if anyone she knew was coming. She bumped into someone, briefly saying sorry, before a hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
"Lizzie, hey, it's Tommy. It's just me. Are you okay?"
"He's so mean sometimes. I can't stand him."
"Who?"
"Alex. He just said that Damien is easily going to be killed even before he goes to the front line. I hate him. He says things just to piss everyone off for enjoyment." "Hey, Lizzie, look at me. Look at me, yeah?" He grabbed her face, making sure that she was looking at him. "Damien isn't going to die. We're trained to know where to go and how to shoot. We know how to protect ourselves. He's going to come home to you, okay?" Tommy looked around. "Are you here alone?"
"I needed to talk to Alex. I wanted him to tell Grace. Fuck, Tommy someone may have seen me."
"It's okay. We'll say you were looking for me, okay? C'mon, I'll walk you home. You'll get freshened up and then we'll telephone Grace to come and cheer you up, okay?"
"She'll ask what happened."
"And we'll lie, okay? You'll be okay." Elizabeth nodded, letting Tommy lead her off Alex's street and towards hers. It was only then she realized, she wasn't heartbroken that she was leaving Alex, she had accepted it was over. She was heartbroken because the only man she truly loved was dying in France and she couldn't do anything for him.
