Destiny

Chapter 30

When she wakes up, she feels a numbness in her heart that makes her wonder if it's ceased to  function, but the faint beating she feels under her chest tells her she isn't that lucky.

She's exhausted, she is done fighting, she finally accepts defeat in the face of destiny, accepts the fate written for the older girl. She has come to terms with the fact that a part of her will die with Nayeon. Whatever remains of her will be ashes- rotting, decaying, disintegrating ashes.

When she opens the door, the dorm is quiet. She knows from the past timeline that it's just Nayeon and her in the flat for the day until the other girls return from their shopping trip in the evening.

Her feet carries her forward to the kitchen and she stops before a bugs bunny mug that belong to Nayeon. She picks it up, strokes the rim of the mug tenderly, absentmindedly, until a hesitant voice from behind her draws her attention. "I'm sorry."

For dying? For loving? For never telling the person she loves how she feels about her?

She doesn't close her eyes despite the fresh onslaught of tears, because every time she does her mind plays the image of Nayeon's lifeless body laying in a casket.

"You did nothing wrong." She says, swivels on her heels slightly to face the taller girl. A surge of pain rings through her body at the lost expression she finds on her beautiful face. An apology is at the tip of her tongue when her phone rings, snapping her out of her daze.

She excuses herself to the balcony, eyes often skittering towards Nayeon who throws her phone on the coffee table and closes the door to the bathroom.

"Manager Ayeong?" Her voice doesn't mask her surprise.

"I always check the CCTV footage when I get back to work after my off days." The woman tells, and Mina wonders where she's going with this. It's random, doesn't make sense and she has half the mind to hang up on her, it would make a nice change for once, "I saw you." She whispers, "It's you."

"Yes, it's me, Mina. I'm in Twice." She stares at a cloud pattern and mutters solemnly, "Anyway, I'll have to go. Bye."

"You don't understand." The woman repeats again, "It's you."

The sun comes up from behind the tall buildings before her. Her face scrunches in confusion as to why the woman was repeating what has already been established.

"The other name on the booking." The sunlight nearly blinds her eyes as Mina stares at nothing but thin air, "It's you."

The world ceases to spin.

Time comes to a stop.

Mina drops the phone. She doesn't even realize it's gone.

Another phone rings from the living room. She walks in a daze, picks it up, hears, "You can collect the flowers at around 10PM."

"Roses?" She finds herself asking. It sounds far away, muffled, like someone else is talking.

"Yes, that's what you ordered right?" A confused voice asks.

"Red roses." She says more to herself than to the man on the other end.

He replies back with a yes.

I love you. I wish I could work the courage to tell you this someday.

Her heart shatters, leaves behind broken pieces of her soul.

So I told her that she should give Kookeu to the love of my life if something had to happen to me.

Mina drops to the sofa, and stares at the wall blankly. Nayeon's mother gave Kookeu to her.

I don't know. Her mother has said. Just like you don't know. She has put an emphasis on the latter.

Then she's more of a coward than I thought. Sana'a words rattle across her chest, slams into her.

Once upon a time there lived a princess who was in love with a prince, but she didn't know someone else was in love with her.

Are you the prince, Nayeon-chan ?

I'll always be the peasant.

Her lips quiver, hands shake, tears fall freely from her face.

Nayeon-chan isn't talking much.

Nobody likes being the third wheel Momo.

She feels her heart beat. It's faint and painful.

Don't want things you shouldn't.

Trust me, I know that better than anyone.

The pain ebbs and flows.

That I have a thing for Japanese girls.

She's like McDonald's Sundae. Soft, sweet, makes my heart happy.

Her smile is like the sun, one of its kind.

A half sob half chuckle leaves her lips.

I could be having a terrible day, but one look at her face, thinking about her or even hear someone say her name makes everything seem better.

A memory of a frustrated Nayeon picking herself off the steel chair with a soft smile on her face at her name flashing on the phone screen runs through her mind. More tears spill down her cheeks. 

A love so immaculate and indestructible that it's even made death immaterial, and prevails and persists in a soul even after saying goodbye to the mortal life. The kind of love she reads about in books, the kind of love she has hoped, earned, as a child to have some day.

That love belongs to her. Tears blur her vision. She trembles.

She sees the outline of someone through her blurred vision.

"Minayah?" Nayeon's voice is full of concern and Mina's heart shatters all over again. She's the one responsible for the older girl's suffering, for her pain, for the agony of her soul.

She gets up, walks towards her, not bothering to wipe away her tears.

She died of a broken heart.

A heart that she broke. She comes to a stop couple of inches before her, looks at the older girl like she's looking for the first time. 

"Mina?" Nayeon prompts again, the morning sun filtering through the window giving her an ethereal glow.

"I am your princess." Mina utters in a low voice.

The stunned silence she gets in return is answer enough.