contagiously In Love

37

jake died that night, i would like to say he left on his own or that he became the 1st ever to cure his own dease but he didnt.
I didnt tell anyone right away instead i stayed in his bed holding onto him , i wanted my last moments to be just him and  i , i must have laid with him for hours, till dawn. When i finally decided itvwas time , i woke sarah up .
" no, no" she cried
His dad just held onto her tightly while tony came runing in. Jakes body was hard by this time. His sould was gone,  i felt it the moment it vanished.
The next 3 days wenr by fast

the day of his funeral everyone was gathered, even distance relatives that he used to say were snobs, i used to snort at him telling him he just didnt know them but when they were saying stupid things that didnt even help sarah, i couldnt help but snort at them for nce.

Sarah held his hand while his dad faced away , bob couldnt deal with the fact that his only son had died of something his last wife did, from what tony had told me was that bob was screaming at god,asking him why. i could understnd why he is mad at god, god takes people who dont deserve to leave, makes them disapear. makes them into nothing but a memory. my mother told me god sees our path, knows what we will do before we do it, he talkes people or babies because there path was fufilled or there path would be more of a stuggle, something we couldnt handle. he doesnt want to see us suffure, i believe her. i dont want to think jake is no longer here, or that he isnt in a good place, i want to believe he is having a beter path,that everything he wanted todo was being fufilled. jake wasnt the best at things so he had lot of opportunities that he pushed away, maybe god is finally giiven them to jake. hes probally making jake happy, happier then i could ever done.

the funeral was only 3 days after his death. there were kids from school there, family that he probally never met and my family. we were all dressed in black, something i know jake didnt want but sarah wouldnt allow his funural be taken like a joke. he wanted everyone to have fun, no tears, no speaches just a room full of laughter. he didnt want sad songs, and he didnt want to be laied in the ground.sarah ok him for wanting to be cremated. i think she only said ok to that becuase she gets a piece of him to carry with her all day long. tony gets a small little vase for his new home with kate, and his father gets a pitcher fram laced with jake, he even put a pic inside the frame. i wasnt upset that i wanst get a piece of him, after all there woudnt be enough togo around if sararh thought of everyone.

a few people spoke, his mother,his father,tony and his bestfriend adam. I was asked but didnt want to, i couldnt speak of how much i loved him,how much of a happy person he was, or how the sun made his eyes glistned everytime he smiled. i didnt want anyone knowing this, knowing that a girl is left alone with love for him when he coudnt fufilled her dreams,that would end the day with even more sorrow then it started with.

there was an after party but i didnt go. tony, kate and i went to our safe place, we talked about jake, about his smile, about his stubburness and how much tony regreated treating jake like poop. katie was even regretful for not knowing jake more, she said she couldnt feel the sadness like us because she never gave him the time. tony and i both told her jake wouldnt mind, that he was happy with his new niece. that send kate over the edge, she cried and cried about how he would never get to protect his niece from all the bad boys like him. tony got a bit defended but we all know he isnt the bad boy type..

tony dropped me off at home just a few hours after that. an empty home. my parents had an important metting togo and coudnt stay any longer, they have postpond the meeting three times that week, so i finally told them togo. I wanted to be alone, i wanted to be left with silence.. all week were fulled with tears and groans, i couldnt take it anymore. i just wanted silence, i wanted to hear my own thougts, even if they were dangerouse. i sit back till this day remebering everything about jake. how much he meant to everyone and how much he changed my life, i know its only been a month and im making it seem like years but thats what it feels like.years that dont seem to end.