Help! I'm asexual and trapped in a dating sim!

Chapter Seven

This life was absolutely going to be as bad as I had feared. I had been holding the fake smile on my face for so long that my cheeks hurt, and the inane chatter of the three girls was irritating me beyond belief.
Well, not three girls, exactly. Just one.
"And then he said that Clara was the one at fault for being so bossy, but Jennifer told me that he told her that he thinks Lizzie is overreacting, and everybody knows that Freddie, who he's sweet on, is friends with Vera, who's Lizzie's older sister, so I think he told Hera that he's on Lizzie's side because she's such a gossip that he knew it'd get spread over the entire group of nobles and eventually back to Vera, and because Freddie's so out of the loop I'll bet he was hoping that she'd tell him so that-"
Oh. My. God. I turned to Garnet with a look of horror plastered across my face.
Help me, I mouthed. But she just grinned at me, evidently finding my situation hilarious.
I glanced down at the girl attached to my arm like a blood-sucking leech. She had latched on the moment I had been introduced. Initially I had been charmed by the cat-girl, with her tabby ears, tail and fine coat of short fur on the back of her arms and legs. But Kitty-- who's parents were apparently not the most imaginative when it came to names-- had not yet paused to take a breath. Besides that, I wasn't yet used to my newly enhanced senses, and her laugh made my ears hurt.
I flinched when another shrill shriek of laughter rang out beside me, almost directly into my ear. It was as if she wanted to make me suffer.
I turned out the white noise coming from my side, staring blankly ahead and marching forwards almost robotically. A fork in the corridor came into view, with three lines queueing towards it, one of girls, one of boys, and one of what I assumed were people who were more gender diverse. There were three doors, leading into what looked like changing rooms, with a table set up at each entrance with piles of papers on top of them and several people behind each one.
Praise the goddess for her kindness-- this ordeal might be over! I sped up, striding towards my salvation.
Then came the sound of my doom. "Lee?"
My shoulders slumped, and I slowed again. "Sorry, what?"
"I said, what do you think, Lee?"
Oh god, oh god, oh god. How to answer? What was the question? "...yes?"
"Really?"
What if she had asked me something like, do you support murder? What am I supposed to say now? Backtrack, or commit?
Luckily, I didn't have to decide.
"Because that's what I think, too! She was way out of line to go that far, but-"
"Speaking of lines," Garnet interrupted. "Why don't you go ahead and save us a space? We'll explain everything to Lee here, because he hasn't had the tour like we have."
"Sure!" Kitty agreed cheerfully. "I'll save us the best spots, never fear!"
She trotted away to the back of the girls' line, immediately beginning to chat away to the poor, unsuspecting young woman there. Perhaps it was a tactic to get to the front? I imagine plenty of people would willingly give up their place just to escape the noise.
"Sorry about her," Garnet said, unsuccessfully hiding a smile. "She can be quite energetic around people she likes."
"Oh, it's fine," I replied. "It just means she likes me, right? Though I can't see how she'd know that yet, considering I don't think I said any more than 'Hi, I'm Lee,' before she started to tell me her life story."
"Oh, it's not your personality she likes," Garnet's other friend, Karie, said with a sly smile.
"What?" I asked, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing," Karie sang. "Look, imma head over and rescue that poor girl."
"Can't be bothered to explain anything?" Garnet asked.
"Can't be bothered to explain anything." Karie confirmed. "See you in a sec."
We watched as Karie made her way over to the end of the line and skillfully distracted Kitty, although the cat-girl didn't break her monologue and seemed to simply redirect it towards her more relaxed friend. The girl she had been talking to-- or, more accurately, talking at-- slipped away with an expression of utter relief.
I could relate.
Garnet turned her attention back to me.
"So, Lee, I'm assuming you're quite confused, yes?"
"Oh, yes."
"Yeah, I haven't done the best job at explaining this, have I?"
"No, you've done your best," I rushed to assure her.
I mean, I hope she hadn't, because if this was her best at explaining then I was going to be one very confused half-elf.
"Besides, it's me who's the ignorant one," I continued. "You're just doing your best to help me out."
"Aw, thanks, Lee!" she said with a smile. "But you're probably confused about how I know so much about this place, right?"
"...yeah." I admitted. "But I bet that's one of the things I'm meant to know already."
"Well, most people would, but it's an easy fix." She beamed sunnily. "Basically, all noble families are practically guaranteed a spot in the academy because we can afford to use the higher level spots to grind XP, so we level up faster and are strong enough to pass the entrance exams. So, once a year, all the noble families are given a tour of the school and an explanation of how everything works so that we know what to do once we get in. Most of the people here now are scholarship students, as the tests are still ongoing, but everyone needs to queue here to collect the uniforms and passes and everything, and make sure we're all up to date on the admin so that they don't over- or under-fill the open spots. Obviously we can't go into the other genders' changing rooms, so we queue up separately. But I know a few of my male friends are already in there, and if you tell them that I sent you then they'll be happy to help out. Just look for a Caleb with bright red hair and glowing eyes, and a Ryan with pointy auburn ears and a black tail. He's a wolverine beastman, so don't startle him."
"Thank you, Garnet," I said, with a nod of gratitude. "I don't think I could have done this without you."
"Oh, you're welcome," she smiled. "I like you, Lee. Not like that-- I don't like guys in that way-- but you seem nice. We'll wait for you here, yeah?" She glanced to the queues. "I'd better get going. Don't want to push in front of too many people."
And then there was one.
I joined the end of the line of boys which, considering how many things the staff had to hand out, was moving remarkably quickly. It was but a few short minutes until I was at the front of the queue.
"Name?" asked the harried man behind the table, not glancing up from his papers.
"Lee..." Did I have a last name? As far as I could recall from my quick skim-read of the play-through, that was something only nobles had. "Just Lee.
"Right. Scholarship, Lee... Here. You have a unique skill called 'Tongues', correct?" he asked, finally glancing up.
"Yes," I confirmed. "That's me."
"Right. Here's your schedule," He handed me a piece of paper, and began to rattle off orders in an obviously well-practiced manner. "You're to go down the table. Take two sets of everyday uniform, one of sports wear and one from the commoners' pile for formal events. Then a textbook from each pile, which you can put into a bag of your choosing, and finally pick a pass up from the bag at the end. Prick your thumb with the needle provided and place a droplet of blood onto the magic seal. That'll act as your ID for the rest of the year, and there's a three silver fine to replace it. Then, use that pass to enter the changing rooms and put your new uniform on. Appropriate uniform must be worn at all times within the academy grounds to ensure your own safety in the case of any kind of incident. Next!"
Overwhelmed by the amount of instructions I'd been given, I moved down the table and copied the boy in front of me who, it seemed, was doing the same-- his eyes were also fixed on the boy in front of him. It was like some kind of twisted Chinese Whispers.
A set of everyday uniform seemed to consist of a navy blue blazer with a mustard trim-- an... interesting colour combination, in my opinion, and one I was almost certain would clash horribly with my hair-- two simple white shirts, four pair of boxers and a pair of tan trousers, all packaged up in a little bag. I took two as instructed, hooking the handles over my arm and moving on. Sportswear was a pair of black shorts and a white t-shirt-- or this world's equivalent, at least, woven out of white linen. And formal wear was all wrapped up in cloth, and I didn't have the time nor the hands to take a look.
Getting a textbook from each pile was quite the struggle with the amount of clothing balanced in my arms already, but I managed to collect them all, though some of the titles made me nervous. 'Poisonous Fungi and Their Uses' in particular was one I didn't want to explore.
I tipped the pile of books into a generic brown leather satchel and moved on down. The boy in front of me slipped into the changing rooms as I arrived, and the woman at the end of the table was engaged in helping the guy behind me wrestle his textbooks into a small backpack. I was on my own.
I took a pass from the bag. It looked a little like a credit card in shape and size, and but for a complicated tangle of words and letters was otherwise blank. Where was the magical formation?
Oh. Ohhhh. 'Tongues' had struck again. I could read the magic circle.
I picked up the needle that was attached to the table via a thin chain and looked at it doubtfully. How sanitary could it be to stab myself with something that had been used to stab other people? Then I noticed the word 'clean' engraved onto the side. That must be a magic rune of some kind, because I can't imagine anyone would go to that effort for mere wishful thinking. A thrill ran through me. This meant magic truly was real, and that meant that I could learn it.
OH MY GOD. Inside, I squealed like a little girl. I could shoot fireballs! Who didn't like shooting fireballs?! NOBODY SANE, that's who!
Without a moment's hesitation, I pricked my thumb and pressed it to the centre of the snarl of words. For a moment nothing happened, but then I felt it. The card heated up and began to glow faintly, and the smear of blood seemed to be absorbed into the surface, along with the magic circle. Words appeared in their place.
Lee: first-year student
Level 5
(Scholarship)
Points: 0
Ranking: 987th
Then, a picture of my face faded into view. It seemed to have been captured at the exact moment I smeared my thumb onto the card, as my facial expression was a constipated mixture of excitement at the idea of magic and disgust at using the needle. I looked like I had been shown a dragon and told to clean up after it. It wasn't a good look.
But it was the one I was going to be stuck with for the best part of a year. What a wonderful thing reincarnation was.