Help! I'm asexual and trapped in a dating sim!

Chapter Eleven

I picked gloomily at a strand of grass.
"It's not that bad," Felix said comfortingly. "At least he's cute."
"You don't understand what he's saying!" I wailed. "He hates me."
No, I don't.
"You don't?"
No. I'm just indifferent.
"That's even worse!"
"Well, he must have had some kind of effect on you," Garnet said. "He's your familiar, after all."
"Yes, but that effect was entirely negative!" I complained. "That effect was just anger."
Oh, come on, foot fungus. You're just upset I exposed the truth.
"Don't call me that."
I wouldn't if it wasn't true.
"What's he saying?" Felix asked in fascination.
"That I have foot fungus. I don't! Look! My feet are brand new!"
"Brand new?"
I coughed awkwardly. "I mean, like, in a figurative sense."
That still made no sense, but they seemed to accept it, glancing down to my bare feet.
"That reminds me," Felix said. "Why don't you have shoes?"
I shrugged. "There was no need in the forest, and I can't afford them here. But my feet are tough, so there's no real need, anyway."
There wasn't, actually. Surprisingly enough it didn't actually hurt to walk around with bare feet.
Everyone-- well, only Garnet and Felix were here anyway-- looked at my feet. I wiggled my toes at them.
"What'cha talking about?"
I turned to see Caleb striding towards us, Ryan skulking along behind him.
"Not much," I said with a shrug.
Caleb sank down next to me, between me and Felix, shooting the latter a poisonous glare. There wasn't much room, so he was basically on top of me. I budged sideways a little.
"Caleb! There's no room!"
"You could always sit on my lap," he offered. I laughed.
"Sure I will."
Hey, foot fungus. Stop flirting and pay attention!
"I'm not flirting. I'm asexual, I don't really do that kind of thing."
I don't care. You're sitting on me.
I looked down. The angry rabbit's foot was trapped under my thigh. "Oh, sorry."
I pulled him free holding him up under the arms. Arms? Forelegs? Either way, he was glaring at me angrily.
"Oh, is that your familiar?" Caleb asked. "He's sweet."
"He's not," I said gloomily. "Quite the opposite, really."
At least I don't have foot fungus.
"Oh my god! Will you stop with the foot fungus already?"
Only when you get rid of it.
"What's his name?" Caleb asked.
"I don't know. I'll ask him."
I turned to the rabbit. "What's your name?"
Don't have one.
"You don't? Why not?"
Don't need one. It's only you humanoids who feel the need to arbitrarily assign yourself a combination of grunts to identify yourself. I know who I am, why do I need a name? The only time it could be used is when other people are talking about me.
"Can I name you, then?"
Did you listen to a word I just said?
"Yes. But you still need a name if we're going to be bound together for life."
Fine. I suppose.
"Yay!" I cheered, turning to the others. "We can name him!"
Ryan glared at the rabbit. "What is that thing?"
"A rabbit."
He sat down next to me with a scowl. "What a stupid familiar."
"I know," I sighed. "He thinks the same way about me."
Caleb seemed to be deep in thought.
"What about Fluffy?" he suggested.
If you dare call me that, I will scratch those creepy white circles you call eyes right out of your head.
"Wait. You can understand us?"
Yes. It's not like it's hard.
"Then why am I talking to you through my skill?"
I don't know. You just started doing that, and nobody seemed to care.
"Say, why does your voice just appear in my head instead of out loud anyways?"
Probably because most languages that are spoken by animals involve a lot of body language, so it's easier for the skill to just turn it into words for you. The same's happening for me, only the other way around.
"Wait, what? You mean that in your head I'm dancing around like an idiot?"
Oh, yes. It's a great thing to watch.
"Ah. In that case, I may stop using the skill to speak to you."
It was a passive skill, but I'm sure I could find a way to turn it off somehow.
Please don't.
Eh. Why not? If it made him laugh it was a small price to pay, considering we were going to be bound together for life.
"What about Snowball?" Felix suggested. "Because he's white and fluffy."
"What a stupid name," Caleb scoffed.
"No, I quite like it," I mused. Caleb wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me closer.
"Let me tell you a secret," he whispered.
"Ooh. I'm always up for a secret. What?"
He pushed my hair to the side and leaned in until I could feel his breath on my ear. Ew.
"The headmaster's familiar is called Snowball, and he'll be upset if you end up naming your familiar the same as his."
Why did that need to be a secret?
"How about Diamond?" Garnet suggested.
I will pull your brains through your nose with a fork.
"Waffles?"
I will douse you in cooking oil and set you alight.
"Slipper?"
I will beat you so hard that your whole body will be the same colour as your hair.
"How about Lord Edric?" Ryan suggested. I looked to him, surprised he had joined in.
I like it, the rabbit said thoughtfully. The 'Lord' gives it an air of regality that seems most appropriate, and Edric sounds like a good, strong name to reflect my fighting spirit.
"Lord Edric it is!" I said excitedly, turning to Ryan. "He loves it! Thank you, Ry. You're so creative!"
"Shut up," he mumbled. "Don't say that."
But I could see a faint smile as he turned away.

<A/N: I'm sorry this is so short! I've been absolutely swamped this week, because I started two new books and bit off way more than I could chew with the schedule I've set for myself! I'll do better next week, I promise, but I totally forgot that I needed to update this until literally about an hour ago, and something is better than nothing. Still, I've barely been able to edit this so please point out any mistakes. Gotta go, still got two thousand words to write today!>