Hey There, Delilah

Hey There, Delilah (21)

Trigger Warning: Cutting

11/12/19: I should have put a trigger warning when I first uploaded this chapter or at least it shouldn't have taken me this long since it came out in 2011. I apologize to anyone it affected.

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River hadn't really been talking to me since I found out that he had been cutting himself. I didn't really blame him, though. I'd leave him alone as long as he wanted; I just wanted him to feel better. I heard him talking to Seth about how his parents invited him back home for the weekend, and he wasn't happy about it. But after what River told me about his parents, I wouldn't be happy either if I was him. But Seth said that he'd go with him if he wanted, which just proved that Seth could be a really good friend if he wanted to be. And Rex overheard, saying that he wanted to come along as well. He then asked if I wanted to go, but I didn't really know if I wanted to or not. I mean, I we pretty much just got back from a very awkward weekend at Rex's house; did I really want to go meet River's parents now?

I was really starting to fear that things were going to go back to how they used to be with me and River. He would only ever talk to me when he was tutoring me, and it would just be the basic stuff. Only things about French, not anything else. Even if I tried to talk to him about something else, he just wouldn't talk to me. I really didn't want him to go back to hating me again. We were such good friends, but did I ruin it by finding out his secret? It's not like I'm judging him or anything; I wanted to help him. I understood that he was going through pain, and I wanted to stop that. I didn't want him hurting anymore. But he was just pushing me away. But now every time I was with him, I would get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. And I didn't know what it was.

"You should go to River's house!" Rex tried to persuade me, elbowing my ribs. "They don't live very far, only two hours away! Come on, River hates his parents even more than I hate mine! Maybe even more than Seth hates his!"

Seth than smacked Rex over the head, and Rex immediately shut up. I looked at the two boys curiously; obviously Rex had said something that he wasn't supposed to. So all three boys hated their parents? Jeez, couldn't they just tell me something for once? I hated being in the darkness with them all the time! Why couldn't I know something about their pasts? Why couldn't I know something about them? I mean, come on!

"But you really should go," Rex told me, serious now. It actually caught me off guard how serious he was being. I was so used to Rex acting like a lunatic all the time, so when he was actually serious, it always surprised me. "You probably don't notice it, but he's a lot happier when you're around. I don't know why, Seth doesn't know why, and heck, I don't even think River knows why. He just got a lot happier after you showed up. But now he's all... depressed again."

I looked down at my hands on my lap as I continued to sit on my bed silently, not really knowing what to say at all. So River was depressed before? I hated thinking about how he could be depressed again. I just wished everyone in the world could be happy. But I knew that wasn't possible at all. Because if everyone in the world could be happy, that means I wouldn't have my stalker. But then my stalker wouldn't be happy because he wouldn't have me. But if my stalker was going to be happy, that means he'd have me, and then I wouldn't be happy. So it's very complicated and doesn't go both ways. So yeah, everyone being absolutely happy isn't going to happen anytime soon. Or ever, probably.

Seth was sitting at my desk, just like River usually did, and Rex just sat on the ground, his legs crossed as he continued to stay serious, and it was still a little weird to me. He was in such a little kid position that I could have laughed if we weren't talking about River. But since we were talking about River, I didn't laugh at all. I actually think I sulked a little. But can you blame me? I don't think so.