Chapter 5

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~September, 1994~

College is great. So much freedom, so much opportunity. No one knows my past, they only know me now. Right here, right now.

Between another girl's legs.

Her hands are in my hair, forcing me further against her. Her body trembles as my tongue moves inside her. My hands grip her thighs as they tighten against the sides of my head. I'm not even sure how I ended up here.

Let me provide some context: It's my eighteenth birthday. Chelsea, my roommate, has an older sister who owns an apartment in the city and she's studying abroad in Italy. And Chelsea has the keys. And the football guys brought the beer.

I'm drunk and going down on a beautiful girl and I'd call it a pretty good birthday.

She calls out my name as my mouth pushes her over the edge. I work my way back to her lips, my tongue finding its way down her throat. We're both panting. It's been an active twenty minutes. I may be a top, but damn.

I smile against her mouth. She runs her hands across my back, her nails leaving red scratches.

Now, I'm going to be honest. I have no idea what her name is. She might've told me, but I don't remember. Stupid beer.

I get dressed again, enjoying my time with her but wanting to make it back to the party. I leave the bedroom, the girl still naked behind me, and weave my way through the crowd. Music blasts from the speakers, red solo cups littering the floor. I get to the kitchen and down a glass of water, trying to clear my head.

Chelsea and a few friends find me. "Carli!" she screams over the music. "You did not just fuck that girl."

I laugh, taking the cup she hands me. "I didn't fuck her. I went down on her. There's a difference, Chels."

She laughs, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the crowd. I dance with my friends and people I hardly know, guys rubbing up against me from behind and girls grinding their hips against my front. It's a mess of sweaty bodies and booming music and more than one person kissing me. After all, it is my party.

Some time later someone grabs my elbow. Jay, a guy in my Calculus class, appears at my side. "C," he tries to keep his voice down but it's hard to hear him over the music. "There's someone at the door for you."

I smile. "Pizza?"

He laughs. "No, not pizza. Come with me."

I follow Jay through the crowd, smiling and thanking the people that wish me a happy birthday. I'm still smiling when Jay opens the apartment's front door and two men stand there. Both in fresh suits, one grey and one black. I glance at Jay. He shrugs and disappears inside.

"Uh, can I help you boys?"

They exchange a glance. The one in the grey suit steps closer. "Are you Carli D'angelo?"

"That's me."

"We need to speak with you."

My face pales. "Shit. Are you guys cops?"

The first man offers a smile. It's friendly, but not entirely warm. He reaches into his blazer and pulls out a badge. "FBI."

I stare blankly at him. "It wasn't me," I blurt out.

The other man steps forward. "Carli, I think it's best if you come with us. We have a few questions for you."

"Oh... okay." I glance over my shoulder. "I'll be right there." I close the door, then realize that's probably not a great idea. I throw it open again. "I'm not running! I'm gonna tell my friends to go home. I'll just be a sec."

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