Come Back Please

CH 1: How I fell for him

MEW'S POV...

I was sitting alone on the soccer field when I saw him. He was with his classmates, doing some assignments. I knew who he was. Of course, I did. Gulf Kanawut. The University's moon from our year. The most handsome guy in the whole university. Maybe the whole country. He comes from the Kanawut family. One of the most influential groups of companies in Thailand. 

I was constantly staring at his focused face. He looked so sweet without even putting any effort into it.

 He looks like an angel that has been sent to this earth to capture the hearts of us mere humans. How can someone be so effortlessly beautiful if not a celestial being? 

One of his friends saw me staring at them. I could see that girl's face turn pale in an instance. I don't blame her for that, though. Who would not be afraid? The girl caught me staring at them. Mew Suppasit. The well-known heir to the Suppasit syndicate. The guy who would only spare those people a glance who are going to die in his hands. Don't get me wrong though. I never killed anybody... yet. But people do know just how terrible their fate would turn if they ever messed with me. 

I had one friend, Zee. But that fellow is too busy with his bunny to be caring about his only friend nowadays. But I feel happy for him. At least he got someone who is not afraid of him because he will be helping me reign my syndicate in the future. I'm happy that Saint is not after the wealth Zee might have. But his heart. It was actually Saint who pursued Zee for three months. 

My stupid friend was in denial of his feelings ever since he set his eyes on that little man. Saint was another beauty in the university. He himself comes from a well-off family. I don't know what he saw in that idiot Zee but I'm happy that they could get approval from Saint's parents. I do remember the day when I had helped those two sneak out in the middle of the night just because Saint thought it would be fun to go on a long drive at that hour. Little did he know that his father was still not asleep and caught him and Zee kissing outside their house. It was so fun to see my ever-so-fearless friend turn paler than he already is. 

Even if we come from the darker side of the world, the mafia, we have no restrictions to love. Neither I nor Zee were ever taught anything like 'Don't fall in love,' or 'Love is not for people like us,' or anything that prohibits us from loving or even befriending. We were rather always taught to know our vulnerable side, unlike most syndicates. We were taught to let ourselves be an emotional mess because whatever we do... at the end of the day, we were just mere humans. 

We have feelings in us because they are meant to be poured out. If not always, then at times. That bottling up our emotions is not how we can be strong. It would only make us weak if we don't let our feelings out. It would break us down internally. And to be a strong person, we need to be stronger internally than physically. My father has always taught me to find a person who can be my safe haven. A person who can make me feel all the relief that is there in the world. He always asks me to find someone who can make me feel carefree.

It's just that I don't want to make a lot of friends. I- I'm just not good at socializing. And I don't think I need someone I would want to depend on so much at an emotional level.

What if they left me?

What if they did not look at me the way I look at them?

I don't want to risk it.

Well, back to the point. Gulf Kanawut and his scared friends. I could hear his friend's loud whispers. Gulf was looking back at me, and I turned my gaze away. I heard his friend whisper to him, "Gulf! Don't look back at him. He could get you killed! That's Mew Suppasit. You don't want to offend him." I internally chuckled, why would I ever get someone killed when they never wronged me. But why the hell was I staring at that guy? I don't know. Maybe, it was that clueless face of his. Or maybe his beauty.

"Stop staring at him like that, it's rude, Mint," I heard Kanawut say to his friend. "Don't tell me that you aren't scared of him, Gulfie," that girl, Mint, gasped. Seriously, who the heck 'whispers' all so loud. Kanawut knitted his brows and looked at me for once, then back to his friend, "I don't know why to be scared of him. He doesn't look all that scary." He's the first to say that. All the people I've met until day always find me intimidating. Because of my cold façade. Or maybe because of my not-so-welcoming aura. They just call me the "Mafia's Son" and think it's better not to mess with me. 

Soon after, I could see the four friends laughing at something. He even laughs like an angel. And then, a boy from their group took away the book from Guffl's hands and ran off. Gulf chased after him for a while and caught his friend. They were near the stair, where I was sitting, listening to songs, minding my own business. "Not so soon, Gulfie!" his friend snickered and threw the book. It landed right on my lap, I could hear them all gasp and gulp in fear.

All of them left the scene, other than Gulf. I set my eyes on him, awaiting his next move. He bit his lips and then walked steadily towards me. What is he trying to do? Get back his book? He'd be really brave to do that.

"Umm... hey! I'm really sorry for my friend's doing... they... they are just always creating ruckus around," he said in a sweet voice. Gosh! That voice can never be of a human. He has to be something ethereal. I tried acting cool, not looking at him, just nodding. "C- Can I get back my book, please?" he asked of me, politely. I held the book and stood up, finally looking at him. His eyes wore an expectant expression. The smile did not leave his face for even a second. Looking into his doe eyes, I knew it. I knew that I was already head over heels for this guy. 

But.

I better not be. I don't have time for all that puppy honey love and shit. Plus, why would some prince out of a fairy-tale want to be with a person like me. A gangster. 

I handed him his book, still gazing into his deep orbs. "Thank you. You're really not what people say of you," he smiled more, making it hard for me to breathe. I nodded in a "whatever" and walked away, leaving him there. His sunflower smile was already engraved like an announcing tattoo on my heart. Just one glance into his pure orbs, and I was his.

And that is how I fell in love with Gulf Kanawut in our first year. 

And today, I was looking at him receive his degree. We are finally graduating today. Four years went by in the blink of an eye. I spent my four years loving him... secretly. I don't have the courage to go up to him and confess my feelings. Honestly, I can't even stay around him for long. Just his voice is enough to make my mind go berserk. He is like the rainbow after heavy rain in my dull life, always so charming, beautiful, and bright. He really is the exact definition my dad taught me of a soulmate.

He is my only relief after a rough day. After all those training sessions, just the image of his toothy smile in my mind is enough to take away all my pain, stress, and fatigue. Just the thought of him is so strong. I wonder what would it be if he was mine. All I can do is to wonder, though. I don't want to get him into my mess. 

I spent my college life staring at him from a distance. Smiling at even just the tiniest mention of his name. Simping over the idiotic romantic dreams I had about him. Letting myself drown and get lost in those dark ocean eyes of his.

He has a perfect life and I don't want to mess with it by getting involved with him. If my enemies knew of this crush of mine, I know they would target him to get whatever they want from me. And I don't want him to get hurt in the slightest because of me... at least. I wish him all the happiness in this world.

I think I will just have to take all these feelings of mine to my death bed.

___________________________________

How is it? Tell me naaaa~~~

I'll update this once or twice a week. As per the time I get as my school is starting soon and I won't have a lot of time anymore.

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PREVIEW...

I climbed up the railing and stood at the concrete pillar. If mom was still here, she would be holding me by my waist so I don't fall off accidentally. I closed my eyes, inhaling the soft breeze that hit my face. It felt so calming. I let my jacket slip off of me, it created a soft thud sound as it fell to the ground. I stretched out my arms. It felt like I was floating.

I don't know why... but I felt like crying... but I don't want to! 

- Wannie