Mafia's Retribution

Regret

Aldric

I was sitting in my office room in my estate having a talk with my consigliere about the stuffs in Europe. But I really wasn't paying attention to any of it.

I was thinking about last night with Ava. Last night was so beautiful. But I didn't want to do it. I want her to hate me. I want to distance myself from her. I am not good for her. I don't deserve her. I was not in my right senses and things happened. But never once I regretted it.

But the thing I did in the morning? I didn't want her to have any expectations from me. I know it was hurtful for her, but things are like that and she has to accept it. I can't leave her alone also. She has no one in this world other than me. And neither do I want to leave her.

My thoughts were interrupted by Vincenzo shaking me.

"Boss are you listening?", he asked.

"Yes", I said glancing at him.

He sighed. "How is Ava?", he suddenly asked.

I frowned at his question."I know you are thinking about her. You can tell me . I can still be your best friend", he said.

I sighed. "I know whatever happened was not her fault. I got to know everything from Robert", he said.

"What is the thing you are thinking now?", he asked.

"I don't know Vincenzo. I am confused.", I said frustrated. He kept his hand on my shoulder.

"You know you can tell me", he said.

"One part of me doesn't want to forgive her, one part says I am not good enough for her and another one says to just forget everything and embrace her. I am not good for her Vincenzo. I was not able to protect her, nor that time when I was with her and neither now. Since the day I have met her ,I have only given her pain. And yesterday when I was drunk, I even forced myself on her. Though she accepted, but I knew she was not ready. And in the morning I treated her as a slut. I didn't want her to have any expectations. I don't know what I am doing Vincenzo? I know she needs me. She is broken. I broke her. She doesn't show any kind of emotion now . It's like her soul has left her body and yet . I don't know dude. I don't know", I said everything in one go. He was just listening me. Tears filled my eyes .

"Aldric you know whatever she did, she already has been punished enough for that. It's time for her to let go of every pain. It's time for her to be happy. And we both know that you are the only one who can do that", he said.

"I can't. How can I just forget the fact that she drugged us? She was also involved in my parent's murder.", I said.

"Do you think if she would have not done that, you would be here sitting in front of me?", he asked.

I glanced at him. He is right.  Somehow, I was still controlling my tears.

"Keep yourself at her place and think. Wouldn't you do the same thing?", He asked.

I thought for a while . I can even sacrifice myself for her. Other people are just mere things.

"Yes", I said.

"That's where your answer lies. And about not being able to protect. You did your best AJ that time also and now also. From the amount of rage I saw in your eyes few months ago for her, she would have been brutally killed by you or would be lying lifeless in your torture room.", he said.

Yes, he is right. I was not able to bring myself to hurt her. A slap landed on her face by my hands and my heart shattered into pieces. I was not able to see her hurt or in pain.