BLOOD AND BONE | rewritten

34

Delphinium felt half-dead as she leaned her head against the window. She was never more aware of how heavy her eyelids became with every blink. When was the last time she had a full night's sleep?

Her eyes glazed over as she stared through the tinted glass. Now that they were in the secluded ridges of west Kybeshi, too erratic for civilization, no vehicles had passed in hours.

Despite her best efforts to remain alert, Delphinium found herself wishing she could succumb to sleep. Over the years, she'd come to understand the limits of her ability. It worked somewhat like a muscle, needing practice to improve and grow in capacity. Today, she'd worn herself out both physically and mentally. She was rarely desperate enough to do that.

Because of it, she dozed for a while. Not quite sleeping, not quite awake. She did remember looking up to the stars, uncovered by their world's layers of pollution. From the Carrion District, Droghal was too full of interlocking bridges and skyscrapers to see the sky at all. And cities in Kybeshi were brighter than stars, enough to scare the real ones away. But they were too high for the newly-reinstated factories' pollution to reach. Glowing stars peppered the sky, more than she ever knew could exist at once. It seemed she never really looked up anymore.

It was quiet for a long time. Delphinium had no idea how long she'd been under a reverie, but it had passed like hours. She tried to memorize the view so she could remember it when she had to face the hellfire and couldn't see the stars anymore. Her fingers tightened around her arms. When did things become so dark and twisted?

Perhaps it was exhaustion that made her foolish or just that she couldn't stand the quiet anymore, but she said into the air, "Do you miss the person you used to be?"

Immediately feeling foolish, she hoped Jake wouldn't answer. But he did. Curtly. "I've always been the person I am."

"That doesn't seem better."

"All things I've done have improved me, made me more astute, more resilient. What I've become has made me as strong as a person I can be."

"You mean becoming the leader of the Needles."

"I mean becoming something to be feared."

"It's not that simple."

"Why would you choose to be the prey when you can make yourself the predator? I'd live and die a monster infinite times over being anything less." There was no shame in his words.

Delphinium turned back to the window. "That's a steep price to pay."

"You cannot be serious." It was clear he couldn't see any differing opinions on this subject as valid. Which was odd, because she couldn't name one other person she could have this conversation with.