Renga Fluff But I Hit You In The Head With The Skateboard Of Angst

4: abuse

Reki woke up in front of his house to Joe shaking him awake, "hey, you're home. Make sure to call me if you need anything at all, okay?"

Reki nodded and climbed out of the car, "thanks." He said shortly before closing the car door and wandering up to his house.

He closed the door behind him and his mom was waiting in the living room for him. He shuddered as she walked up to him and slapped him sharply in the face.

He felt something in his nose shift awkwardly and blood started to drip slowly from his nose.

"What took you so long." She demanded harshly.

"They wouldn't let me leave. I'm sorry-" Reki started, but his mother grabbed his collar and shoved him against the wall, "I CANNOT PAY THE HOSPITAL BILLS SO YOU BETTER GET A FUCKING JOB." She screamed at him. Reki just nodded as she continuously punched and pushed into his shoulder with every word. Trying to make an emphasis, as if she hadn't already.

"Go to your damn room I don't want to see you right now." She said.

Reki started off to his room when he felt a sudden hit of pain at the back of his head, and then heard something clatter beside him.

His mom had thrown the tv remote at his head. He quickly shut himself in his room. He was having another one of those episodes where he felt like he couldn't breath, he was too hot and too cold at the same time, he got all shaky, and his throat felt like it was closing.

He took a shaky and shallow breath as he lowered himself down with the help of his wall as tears slipped out of his eyes. He felt like he couldn't breath at all, only sending him further into panic.

He took his phone out. Was he dying ? Damn it sure felt like that.

He didn't know what to do or who to call. He didn't have anyone anymore, and that thought just made him feel worse.

He stood up shakily and went to his desk, sitting down in a chair with his phone still across the room. He opened his junk drawer and pulled out a box cutter. He pressed it to his wrist a couple times. Not too deep, but enough to make things bloody.

He took a deep shaky breath. His body felt calm again. He felt in control of everything again.

He didn't know why that worked, but it did.

He went back across the room, letting his wrist bleed on his clothes, and picked up his phone.

13 new messages from: Langa :^)

---unread
Hey you okay?

Where did you go?

Don't leave me on read bro :-(

No fr where did you go??

I hope your okay.

Hospitals can be rough sometimes.

It's been like an hour are you back from the hospital?

Sorry if I'm texting too much I'm kinda worries

*Worried

Maybe you are asleep

I'm gonna assume you are all good and asleep

Sleep well good sire.

<3
1 hour ago

Hey. I'm sorry I didn't respond. Im home now yeah, and I slept the ride home from the hospital haha.

Hi! I'm glad you're back. Are you okay?

I'm holding up

Wdym?

This might sound insane, but do you ever get those things were you like can't breath and you start shaking and your stomach hurts and it feels like you are going to die that are really abrupt and completely mess up the flow of your whole day??? lol

Like a panic attack?

Does that mean it's not normal

Yes.

Ah I thought it was just Google being Google lol.

Did you have a panic attack?

I guess so haha

I don't know how to stop them very well. Lol.

Are you okay now?

Sure

Langa I'm sorry I can't do this right now I'm just gonna take a nap I'm so tired babshkzbdks

Woah woah what? Are you okay?

Reki what's going on seriously you can't just dip like that are you good??

I'm sorry, I really am ok I promise, my social battery is just like at the bottom and I'm exhausted. I'm okay it's just been a crazy day. You've been amazing and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to get away or I've been ignoring you. Just know it's not normally like this, I'm usually better, just not right now.

Thanks for telling me :-) get some rest bro
[❤️]

----

Reki plopped over on his bed. Deleting threatening message requests, go die fag. Kill yourself. No one wants a homo stinking up the town. You're going to hell. He didn't even bother screenshotting them anymore. No one was going to help him.

Even if he managed to convince the world he was straight, did he really want to live like that? He thought of himself when Langa walked in the class earlier and brought a hand over his red face.

The boy made him so happy and here he was, not talking to him when he had the opportunity to. He felt bad for making him feel bad and making him worry.

He didn't want to lose the one friend he had. He wondered if Langa even considered him as a friend.

He laid his head back on his pillow and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, letting his body sink into the covers of his bed and staring at his ceiling fan. Then at the blade on his desk. He could do it.

He could kill himself. It seems a lot of people would be better off that way, including himself. He almost smiled at the thought. It would be so easy.

He could go buy rope and hang himself. He could cut himself too deep and let himself bleed out in a warm bath, he could overdose and no one would really care.

He could do it. He wouldn't even get a funeral. No one cared about the gay boy of the town. Everyone in this town believed suicide was murder, therefore a mortal sin, and when you die in mortal sin you go to hell. No one in the town would care for someone going to hell for two reasons.

No one gave half a shit in this town.