Renga Fluff But I Hit You In The Head With The Skateboard Of Angst

12: help

That night Reki slept at Joe and Cherry's house, keeping his phone close to him. Keeping that group photo close to him. It brought him comfort, the same kind as sleeping with a stuffed animal or extra blanket.

He woke up to another nightmare.

Immediately, he threw himself out of the bed, feeling the motions all over again.

Back and forth, in and out.

He let out a sob and slid down to the ground against the wall. Crying so hard he was nearly wheezing. He just kept on crying for what felt like forever.

Eventually, Cherry woke up from his crying and peaked his head in the door, "Reki? Are you alright?"

Joe slept through anything, so he didn't wake up.

"I'm s-sorry." He stuttered, trying to control his sobs, "I feel so sick." He sobbed, "I can't do this."

"Are you gonna throw up?" Cherry asked, crouching down besides him.

"I don't know its-" he paused, "I hate it. I can't do this." He cried, "yeah, I'm gonna throw up." Reki said suddenly.

Cherry helped the sobbing boy to the bathroom. Almost immediately he found the toilet and vomited.

The tall man cringed slightly, but then knelt next to Reki and swept back his hair. He was sweaty.

"God, it fucking feels the same." Reki said, propping his elbows up on the toilet seat as vomit dribbled from the corner of his mouth.

"I can't like- how am I gonna live like this?" Reki asked, "I can't do this for the rest of my life. I can't wake up every time I sleep and feel that again." He said shakily.

Cherry had no words for a moment, "it will get better." He said, "it will I promise. I promise you it won't be like this forever." He said eventually.

"Cherry?" Reki asked after another silent moment had passed.

"What is it?" The man responded, no longer holding back Reki's hair, but still sitting on the tile floor with Reki.

"It's not getting better. Nothing is. I can't do this anymore.." He admitted, not making eye contact, "and I don't know what to do. I can't stay here forever- but I can't-" he sniffled, "I'm completely trapped. I don't know how to keep going." He said, feeling like he was choking on his own words. Cherry understood what he was implying, his strange plea for help.

"Reki, are you suicidal?" Cherry asked seriously. Reki answered with a sob and a nod, "I need help." He choked out, "I can't do this anymore I can't but I want- but I don't wanna leave you guys behind." He cried, "I can't leave you guys." He sobbed, holding his phone in his pocket, thinking of his picture.

"I can't leave you guys but I hate being alive. I hate living through this shit everyday, it just keeps getting worse." He sobbed. Cherry pulled him into a tight hug.

He had no idea what to do.

"We're gonna help you through this. I don't know how yet, but we're going to help you through this. And you won't have to leave us. Someday we're gonna get the whole lot of us out of this town and never come back. Then you wont feel trapped anymore. You can live in a world will people will love you for just being Reki, just the way you are." Cherry said, hugging Reki tight the whole time.

Reki hugged back, "I don't wanna leave you guys." He repeated, "I wanna make it out of this but it's getting so hard." After that, anything he said was too mixed with heaving sobs to be understood.

Cherry and Reki sat there for a little while longer just hugging while Reki cried and cried.

"Do you self harm?" Cherry asked. Reki nodded, not answering to more than he felt he had to.