Apathy

15| The Day

*This chapter might be triggering for some readers*

A S T R A E A

Yesterday after we came back to the Regio's mansion, I immediately went straight to my room and crawled into bed, I let sleep consume me while silent tears were running down my cheeks. When I woke up today, I felt like shit, I felt like the life was draining out of me, I felt weak.

it has been 3 years...

Today is the day, the day i lost Santiago. Today is a reminder of how i pathetically failed to protect him. Today is also his birthday, the day he was born. He should be turning 18, but we aren't together to celebrate.

I remember vividly how we use to sneak out of the house at midnight the night before our birthdays and we stay the whole night out so we would be the first person to wish the other a happy birthday.

I still remember my fifteenth birthday, the last birthday we spent together....

F L A S H B A C K

I heard a faint knock on my door, i knew it was Santi, no one other than him knocks on my door at 11 PM, he didn't even wait for me to answer he just burst into the room "why do you knock if you will just burst into the room, idiot " i asked him, he just rolled his eyes at me "everyone is asleep, are you ready" he questioned quietly, i nodded enthusiastically.

Tomorrow I turn 15, and like every year, on each of our birthdays, Santi and I sneak out of the house at midnight and do crazy, reckless things. It became our tradition. I used to hate my birthday thinking that there was no reason to celebrate another year on this cruel earth but Santi made me love my birthday, he made me excited for it, I started to wait until my birthday comes so we could sneak out and spend the night together

Santiago saved me from myself

He saved me when my demons and darkness were consuming me. He saved me when my own mind was manipulating and betraying me. He saved my heart when it was being destroyed.

"Be careful " I muttered quietly as we climbed out of the window discreetly trying not to make a sound so we don't wake the other up and get caught. We got into Santi's car and he immediately started it, i hope he doesn't kill us tonight. Santi is still 15 he will be turning 16 in a few months but his dumbass couldn't wait a bit longer. He had to get a fake driver license. I honestly don't even know how he will get it legally once he is 16, he drives like a fucking psychopath.

Once we got out of the estate, successfully avoiding all the guards, we blasted music in the car, singing the song's lyrics together. We stopped at target to get cake, chocolate cake to be exact— my favorite. Than we went to our spot, it is the rooftop of an abandon hotel my family owned. Once we were there we sat down, admiring the view, we could see all of New York from here. There aren't many words or expressions that can adequately describe this sight of New York other than magnificent and awe-inspiring. New York appears to be continually active, moving, and thriving, with lights blazing from every skyscraper, every office block, the Vanderbilt building, and the indistinct bridge shape in the background—the exact reason why it is commonly labeled the City That Never Sleeps.

"what are you thinking " I heard Santi's voice, bringing out of my daze "just how magical NYC is at night " I murmured, my gaze never leaving the sight in front of me "your just as beautiful as this city is " he complimented, I didn't reply because i wasn't convinced, how could I possibly be beautiful. I have scars, whip marks and burns...marking my skin. I had been tortured, raped, manipulated.....I had been shattered. When I take a look at the mirror, I don't see myself anymore, all I see is a broken girl, I don't believe that anymore can ever truly love a broken girl like me.