i am so fucking sorry

something going wrong

Robert and I are dating for 4 years. He is such a wonderful man, my man but these days something going wrong. he is not happy and he doesn't tell me anything. At the same time I was really busy, my law company's credits raising and we worked so hard. I couldn't take care of him. We went a little far. But our lives are always like this. He works hard too. But something wrong with him. I know him for 5 years, something bothering him and he is not coming closer to me, when I try to hug or kiss him he is pulling away and always saying "oh I forgot something good night" it makes me sad so much I wanna be close to him but he is avoiding me...
I decided to ask him what is wrong and I headed upstairs, I arrived at our room but he is not in the bed but some voices coming from the bathroom. Did I hear some gasp noises? I knocked door

"Baby are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm taking a shower"

"Do you want me to join you ?" I chuckled

"No, I'm coming a minute"

"Oh ok I'm waiting for you"

He is hiding something from me. it breaks my heart so bad. Why he is not talking with me? Is he not trusting me? I was always here, by his side whenever he has nightmares, anxiety attacks, drug problems...
He quited from the bathroom and he has a towel around his waist. he walk towards to wardrobe and he wore a boxer and a t-shirt. I was still watching him with worried eyes. He sat on the bed and looked at me.
"What's wrong Robert, I know something bothering you, you can always talk with me you know that right? please talk to me baby" he is looking at me with guilty eyes
His tears started streaming and he just said

"I'm so sorry y/n, please forgive me I love you"

"Robbie you scaring me what's wrong"

I wiped his tears and hugged him, his tears keep falling his wet Tshirt
"Please talk baby please," I said and he let out a sigh

"are you remember I hired an assistant her name is Lucy"

"yeah"

"I introduced her young and beautiful to you" he is looking down, his voice is shaking. it's not like before

and I understand what was going on, my legs started shaking I take under control myself, just listened to him.

"Her eyes were always on me when I realized this situation I couldn't help and I fell for her... she played with me, she started coming to my office and flirting. and I allowed her to play with me. cuz she has a weird effection on me and I liked it." he stopped

My eyes filled with tears, his and mine heavy breathes filled my ears. his every sentence, his every word broke my heart. and the worst part is the love of my life fell for another woman, I'm so sad and mad but I tried to stay calm. he was so desperate. he knew what he did.

he started again, his voice is cracking
"3 days ago she came to my office again she always flirted with me but that day was different, she started playing with my hair and suddenly sat on my lap, some dances. I couldn't do anything just stare at her eyes, I knew this situation is so wrong but I couldn't move like I was enchanted and everything happened... I'm so sorry baby please forgive me, when I came back into my senses I just wanted to run away and I realize how much I love you"

And now my tears streaming down and looking at his eyes, his beautiful brown puppy eyes, my weakness. I avoided his eyes and look at the wall tryna control my breathes and tears. this is so hard, he cheated on me? this is unacceptable.

"Please say, something baby, you are scaring me. I'm sorry I know I'm so fucked up. I will do anything for you to forgive, please" he started beggining and he kneeled in front of me

"I can't believe this" I was trying to look strong but the words came out like cracking voice with a whisper, I still can't control my shaking and tears I stand up

He held my hands and I took my hands back. Both of us crying, every moment we had in this room, in this house, our vacations, happy moments came to my mind

"I knew something wasn't in the place..."