The Beat Of Birds Wings - TF2 (Sniper x Scout)

Confession

"...The wrong fucking fags!" 

 Scouts words were burned into the man's head. No matter what he did or tried to think about they came back to him. It felt like trying to runaway from a boomerang.  It put a thrill in him, equaled only by the memory of the boy's naked body spread out before him.

"Fags" huh... 

As much as he wanted to deny it putting his cock in another man's ass did seem pretty gay.

The word 'fag' itself usually sounded grating, it made everything inside him cease and grind to a stop. It was a slur and an insult and made his blood boil like this morning when the bleeding man spat it at him from the pavement. He would have done anything to turn and kick him in the face, anything except ignore Scout. 

When it came to Scout, Sniper seemed to be making a lot of exceptions lately. Why was it that when Scout used the word 'fags' he felt a pang of longing at the inclusiveness. Was it because of it's illusion to their new found intimacy? Was it that Scout could take pride in a slur and own it, that he wasn't afraid or embarrassed to be with Sniper? Was it a fling? Or was Scout just trying to figure himself out? 

"...The wrong fucking fags!..."  There was a boldness there that went beyond Scouts usual cocky composure. 

Sniper closes his eyes and all he can think about is sex... and how good Scout was at it.

There's a question that's been eating at him since long before Scout had been all over him moaning with sultry eyes ... since the first time... their kiss at the bar. He had to know. 

How gay are you?

They'd been driving for close to half and hour but the events of the morning felt like an eternity ago for Sniper. His memory was already beginning to fade. When fighting his instincts had taken over, everything had been crystal clear, protect Scout. Now that it was over he could barely remember how it had started or what had happened. Luckily he had Scout to retell the best parts... The sound of a baseball bat blocking led, the sweet dropkick he pulled off, the sound of a chain and a skull hitting the cement and Sniper saving his ass at the last minute. Scout had been babbling about it all non stop. 

"Did ya see that fools face... You looked so cool, musta' been cos' you've been hanging around me... and then chuckle nuts blah bah blah..." Sniper had nodded along only half listening, drawing breath through his second cigarette. It wasn't until Scouts tone changed that he zoned back in.

"Do you really think they meant all that they said? Like, I mean, do ya really think they were after us just cos'... ya know? Surly they musta' known who we were, like we're super deadly merc's and they were sent after us or somthin'... I just don't understand the justification otherwise." Scout frowns and tucks his legs up to his chest. Sniper can only guess what he's getting at.

The boy unwraps another piece of strawberry gum and pops it in his mouth. He continues in-between wet chewing noises. "What did they mean by whore? Who? Were they talking shit on me? Were they really gonna fuck me-"

"Scout." Snipers firm voice cuts him off. There's a pause and Sniper takes the smoke from his lips before continuing. "Some people are twisted and hate turns them inside out, it's sickening. Sometimes there's no explanation. In our line of work it's important not to dwell on the What if's or it will drive you mad." 

Sniper taps his smoke over the ash tray and takes a drag. What he said he felt was true but the way he said it was a little curt. The reason for his dismissiveness was that he didn't want Scout to keep running his mouth, he didn't want Scout to think about it, he didn't want to think about it. The idea of them raping him was horrific and unthinkable and cut him to the core. Sniper could have nearly been responsible for such a hideous reality, he'd slipped up, gotten soft and as a result let his guard down. Thinking with his dick instead of his rational mind had nearly gotten them both killed and he felt the wait of it crushing him.