You'll Think of Me - 16th January

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When you see all things heavy or light, grey or colorful, hard or soft, you'll think of me. 

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see children and teenagers walking home from school because you always knew I wanted to be a teacher. You might not express it in any way visible but you will hope I'd come out of the school gates as well, carrying loads of papers and books or just casually walking with my students.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see restaurants or diners because you're the first guy to ever receive my full effort on cooking and baking. you're the first guy to taste them, and you'll miss them because you haven't tasted them for a long time now. No other cook, baker, or even lover could imitate the love and effort mixed in my recipes.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see the red color because you know that I led a political party in our previous school with the red motif. You'll think of me because red always signified something in the setting where we met and where we developed something. And I was so obsessed with red for it because the color symbolized passion, fierceness, and confidence.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you smell donuts, strawberries, and vanilla because I smell just like them. You'll laugh absent-mindedly because you'll remember the time when my 3rd-grade cousin told me he wanted to eat me because I smell like strawberry donuts. You'll unconsciously smile because that scent once dominated your whole room.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see crystals, incense, and tarot cards because I'm the first girl you've ever liked romantically who believed in spirituality. You know that you have my clear quartz. I taught you how to cleanse. And I read my tarot cards for you.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you encounter father-daughter dilemmas because I always shared how I had bad memories with mine. You'll think about how my relationship with him is going and you'll worry if I've made my rebel dreams come true.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see books because you knew how much I liked to write proses and poems. You'll remember how I told you the story of Danica and Throy that I lost motivation to write about.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear or see Taylor Swift because you know how obsessed I am with her song. And when Lover comes along, you'll remember how I always talked about dancing to it while I whispered every line to your heart.

I will be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see cats because you know how much I love them and how much I treasure them. You'll remember Monina because she's the first cat I introduced you to, the white cat with orange ginger stripes. You'll remember Whiskey too because she's my current pet cat.

You'll think of me in so many more things. And that will be the time we're in a happy and healthy long-distance relationship because I chose to risk it and work it out. We chose to improve and understand each other every time. It's just a few year years. That's only 1/4 of the time we'll spend together for the rest of our lives. 

You'll think of me in so many more things because despite the pain and struggle I went through to accept that you'll be in fact leaving, I stayed and I was strong.

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