None But The Lonely Heart

A love that bloomed

When you're truly in love, there is no exact moment wherein you can tell that you are in love. Rather, it is a montage of moments that contains little realizations until the epiphany arrives. This is exactly how Eddy Chen would describe how he fell in love with Brett Yang.

When you're truly in love, it just dawns on you one day. You wake up and everything is exactly the same way, up until you see the love of your life. Everything changes and you think you might never be able to look at them the same way ever again. This is exactly how Brett Yang would describe how he fell in love with Eddy Chen.

It wasn't in Eddy's letters or Brett's direct expression of feelings. It was in the way they melded with each other. The way they moved so in sync with each other.

It is simply how they were with each other.

It wasn't really something that was magical or indescribable. It was just years and years of knowing each other. Knowing and seeing each other in ways that no one but them will ever know.

This is how they really started.

For Eddy, it was all those years in uni. Yes, he had a beloved girlfriend at the time. But, it's true what they always say about the heart and the mind. The heart knows where it should lie while the mind takes you to an entirely unrelated place.

Yet, Eddy knew where his loyalty lied. It was with his current significant other. He chose to be with his significant other, so he is choosing her everyday. Brett's his best friend and that was where Brett placed him as. So, he only acted like a best friend. No matter how truly painful the longing was.

Eddy was not always the nicest person he wanted other people to see. It was human nature to treat people with decency and niceness. It was a human impulse to feel something for a person even if they seemed intangible. Eddy just somehow acted on his impulse first then nature second.

He was in love with a man when he was in a relationship with a woman.

Brett Yang on the other hand, was on (what Eddy Chen had deemed) his 'heartbreaker era' during his years on uni. Yes, he was an amazing student who constantly practiced and studied but there were nights where he just wanted to unwind. His friends saw how he could break hearts left and right without even knowing it.

He didn't know it at the time, but he didn't even give a second look at Eddy Chen. Not literally, of course. It is meant to say that Brett Yang took a second look and realized he was in love with Eddy Chen. But, he never did.

Not during his university life, that is.

He was in love with the man when the man was still in a relationship.

Somehow, the timing was right for them. Eddy Chen and his girlfriend broke up. Brett Yang was over his 'heartbreaker era' after a while. The only thing left to complete was the confession.

It wasn't exactly how the movies portrayed it to be. It's not romantic or outspoken with multitude of words and sentimentality. It's a lot more awkward, filled with silences, filled with anticipation because this confession can either make or break you. No matter the outcome, it definitely is life changing.

It's either you lose someone or you love someone.

Frankly, Eddy wasn't the type to act on emotions suddenly. He internalized them, felt them deeply before he jumped all in. He rationalized his feelings before he acted on it. He looked at all the possibilities and options before he moved. But don't get him wrong, he loved his spontaneity too, from time to time. 

Brett was always the type to dive in and swim back up if it gets too deep. Yet, he always thought about his decisions before he jumped in completely. Brett was spontaneous but he still has caution. He always floated back up in case the decision wasn't a good one. He allowed the decisions have their rightful consequences and he lived through them.