Chemically Imbalanced

In From The Cold

The next morning I woke up feeling hopeful.
I have no Idea why, since my life is just an rollercoaster hitting the bad parts over and over again.
You know. Like those sudden twists and turns that would basically snap your neck like a twig if it weren't for a little support.

Despite my usual gloomy mood and short temper, I wasn't feeling all too bad. No knives stabbing into my skull, no confusion, no fatigue- wel almost.

After yesterday with Bree my head wouldn't stop spinning.
Maybe I could actually get back in the ring again. And maybe, hopefully,  she could be there by my side through it all.

I force myself to leave the comfy bed to get ready for my responsibilities. Honestly; if not for Bree or Caleb I'd probably have dropped out by now.
This just sucks and you're surrounded by idiots 99% of the time.
I have a good grip on my anger, But some of those assholes have made me lose my grip more than once.

For instance, Jake Carston.
Look I don't just lash out at people unless they deserve it. I despise Tina with every fiber of my being, but if I saw him drunkenly feeling up a girl that very clearly said no... well then I couldn't care less.
So when I saw him and the poor girl I lost it. He had to go to the hospital. For all I cared he could die right then and there.

My thoughts are interrupted by someone hammering at the door.

"Go away!" 

"Lucas. That's really rude of you."

Her voice rings clear and can hardly wait to see her but I'm not even dressed. So, I just play along.

"Lucas, hurry up! I'm freezing to death out here!"

I quickly put the closest denim I could find not bothering to throw on a shirt and start walking in her direction.

"Wel you either die freezing outside my door or you kill us both with your driving later."

I explain, swinging my hands about like a mad man even though she can't see me. 

I finally yank open the door and there she was. Her little frame shivering from the cold, her hands rubbing viciously against her arms to try and build up some sort of heat.

"Bree-"

"I told you I was cold."

I instantly regret letting her stand outside so long, even if it were only a joke.

Her quivering lips are a faded dark purple color, and her nails turned blue.

"Shit! Oh no. Bree, Im so sorry."

I wrap my arm around her and pull her into the house, shutting the door behind her.

Before she could even give me a chance to grab a blanket for her, she wraps her arms around me and sinks into my warmth. Her cold cheeck burns agains my chest, but I savor every moment of it. Instinctively my arms wrap around her and all the built up tension from the bitter cold releases.

"All better?" I question once she finally stopped shaking.

"Yeah..."

Suddenly it all became too real to me.
Bree was here. Standing in my living room wrapped up in my arms agains my bare chest.

"How the hell did you find out where I lived?"

A giggle escaped escaped from her lips, followed by a smile.

"I saw Caleb walking around our neighborhood and I just asked him where you lived... Is that a bad thing?"

Yes. Yes it was. The only reason Caleb would go to that part of town Is to run after his next high. Romano, the biggest drug lord in this town lives there.
Walking in there would be like walking into the lion's den.
If he decides he had enough of you or his thirst for blood takes over, he sinks his claws into you and eats you alive.

Shivers run down my spine and I can feel the fog cloud my eyes. 

"We have to go..."
My arms drop from Bree, handing her over to the cold again.

"I don't want to."
She pouts and grabs me by the waist again.

"We have to go! Right now!"

I yell out loud. Not at her particularly. But, when I lose my temper I shout at everyone and everything. Perhaps the situation in general.

I grab Bree by the shoulders and push her away from me. The cold hits my bare chest as her absence kicks in.
I dash to my room throwing oon a shirt and the nearest hoody I can find.

"Fuck!"
I shout again trying to keep my anger somewhat in check. Its like trying to open up a steam cooker. Trying to let some of the pressure out while not causing the whole damn thing to explode.

With Bree around I couldn't afford to lose my grip. Punching holes into walls and cussing profoundly wasn't exactly sending a safe and sane message.

I walk into the living room to find Bree standing frozen in shock. "Lucas..."

Guilt washes over me and crashes down with the force of a thousand waves. and the icing on the cake?
It feels like being slammed into a coral reef.

I stop in my tracks and slow down.
Taking slow easy steps twords Bree and placing my hands on her sholders.

"Bree... I'm really sorry. But you don't understand. Caleb could be in some deep shit right now. Please I'll explain everything. Just right now I'm asking you to trust me. We HAVE to go."

"Okey..."

Bree looks up at me through her brows and nods. Her hand slips into mine and we head out to her car. We both give eachother uncertainty looks before Bree raises the keys and tosses them to me.

"Thank you."

I would never be able to thank her enough.

We race through the empty streets, skipping stops and hitting gas at red lights. It was a silent, excruciating car ride. If Caleb was not at campus today, I'd have to go get him.
Showing up at campus is how we showed eachother we were still fine. A no show meant either you took too much and youre currently sick as a dog... or It meant you ODed last night. In this case it might be even worse.

Showing up was us checking up on eachother.

We pull up to the parking lot and my heart collapses.

"He's not here. Fuck!"

My breath increases rapidly and i can feel the heat inside me burning up.
He's net here. He's not here so he's in such deep shit he'll be able to swim in it.

"Fuck you, Caleb!" I grab my hair in my hands not knowing how yo let out my anger. I cant hit anything and I can't scare Bree more than I allready have.

"Lucas..."
Her soft voice speaks up. Her hand reaching for my shoulder. "We have to go now, okay? He's not here. You have to get your shit together and go help him. He needs you."

I let out a deep breath and tilt my head back. "Okay. Lets go."