Chemically Imbalanced

What's To Come

It's been 4 days since the incident.
I havent heard from her since and Im going insane. Quitting drugs is hard as hell but it's even worse when you have to go through it alone. She was the only thing keeping me from going insane while I was still on drugs, but now, with withdrawal symptoms kicking in badly I'm practically on the edge of insanity.
It feels like I could rip the skin from my muscle with agitation.

I had my mind made up. If she didn't show today I would go to her.
And in lights of recent events, I had a feeling that my second Idea might be more plausible.
It's only half an hour till the final bell sounds, dismissing us from this other type of hell. With my eyes glued to the clock I painfully watched as time ticked by in wat seems like hours.
I was allready a very aggressive person by nature and all the exstras today didn't exactly help.

I was mad at everyone and everything.

Why the hell wont the bell just ring allready.
Stupid girls laughing in the back.
Dumbass geeks that probably get all A's.
Assholes that sleep in class.

I feel myself clench my hands around the edge of the table trying to keep me from getting up and doing something profoundly moronic. Like punch a teacher square in the face. Yelling at the bunch of cackling hens in the back or maybe just burn the whole damn place to ashes.

Nope.

And there I go. On a mission to get away from everyone and back to her.

I don't care about ehat lectures Imiss and don't. I care about her. And only her.

My mind races as I make my way to her.

Her car is out in the driveway.
No sight of her parents cars. Must be doing more important things.
I scan the house for a place to enter. And ofcourse they leave the backdoor unlocked. Morons. Who leaves thier faughter at home and gorgets to lock the doors.
"Brea!" I call out as I head upstairs to her room.
I find her door open on a crack.
"Brea...."

"Oh my gosh. Do you have absolutely no boundaries?"
I hear her thumping footsteps come closer. And I'm nervous. Like super nervous. I can smell her sweet perfume as she approaches the door and I wait with eager eyes keeping my gaze on the door. Scared to see her.
There has to be a reason she's been avoiding me. And honestly, I'm scared to death. By this time she'll know her diagnosis ans by ghis time she has probably thought of every horrible thing the future holds.

The thumping stops. I gan hear her hand clasp the doorknob. And...

And she shuts the door!? What the hell!

"C'mon Brea. I did not just walk half an hour to have you slam the door in my face. I promised I would be here for you and this is me keeping that promise. So I'm not leaving. So you can either sit in there sulking or you can open this door the hell up and let me be there for you."

A moment of silence goes by. No answers no noises no nothing. Panick sets in. Visions of her in my arms flashing by. Her cold face, her lifeless body. "Brea! Open up I'm serious." My voice cracks as tears flood my eyes again. "Brea!"

Suddenly the door swings open. And there she is. As beautiful as ever. All wraped up in comfy clothes. A hoody hiding half of her face.
"Always so demanding."

"Bree." I let out a sigh as I wipe the tear from her cheek that trails it's way down my thumb. Gosh even her face is cold.

"I look so ugly." Her head drops to the floor. My eyes wonder over her. Het feet cruled up, her hands in little fists.

"You're as beautiful as ever, Bree."
I smile at her. This girl could tell me the most horrid things about her and I would still think she's the most wonderful thing to ever exist.

"No you don't get it okay."
She takes a step back. Lifting one hand to the hood covering her face. Her hand hesitantly shoves back the hood to reveal short broen hair. The waterfall flowing doen her back all dried up.
Ending just under her jaw. I look at her, waiting for some sort of explanation or just anything really. This is killing me.

"Your hair.... it-"

"Yeah turns out I've been wearing a wig. I don't like the short hair. I think i look dumb. Well you look dumb right now. Thinking my hair would be that long only a few monts into remission."

My hands reach out to her shoulders. Gently placing them to afraid I'll brake her. "Bree, you look stunning. No matter what. You are the most beautiful thing to have ever existed-"

Her brows scrunch together "I am not a thing-"

I press my finger to her lips "you can interrupt me later, let me have my moment please. Before I forget what the hell It was leading up to... so, Brea my world was so dark before I became aware of your existence and I can't imagine my life without you. You make me feel alive again. It's like taking the strongest drugs ever, but the high never fades. It never stops. But I keep wanting more. I love you Bree. I really do...
Now you may interrupt me."

"I really wish you hadn't said that...
Lucas... I'm dying. It's back and its worse. Im starting treatment next week. And if... if it doesn't work and I dont get a bone marrow transplant... It's over Lucas. My story ends. I'll die at 21 and my story won't be anything but my losing battle. Nothing else matters then. Nothing I accomplished. Everytime someone tells a story about me It's just going to be about everything i didn't get to do before I died. And thet sucks that fucking sucks! I won't even be happy with how far I've come in life when I die because I'm not. I havent had my first kiss yet. I'll never have a family of my own, I wont even make it to your first fight! And I-"

My hand reaches out to her waist pulling her in while my othe hand somewhat aggressively pulls her in, and in just a moment out lips collide.
She freezes momentarily. And then she goes limp melting into my arms.
Her hands finding thier eay through my curly hair.
She slowly pulls away.

Pushes me aside and I instantly worry. Did I hurt her? Is she upset? Did I just ruin the best thing-  love. The best love to ever set foot in my life.

"What the hell!" She throws her hands up in a hissly little fit.

"What fo you mean what the hel?"
My brows gurroe together as I impatiently eait for an answer.

"You hear I'm dying and you think kissing me will make it better?"

I smirk at her as I cross my arms leaning against the door frame. "See... I don't like premature diagnosis. Nor do I like that very long bucket list of yours. Infact it needs a new name. But while the subject is at hand we just ticked one off of that list and now we head to the second one...."
My hands dig through my pockets and I can se curiosity painting over Bree's face. The short hair tucked behind her ear. She leans in closer as the searching stops. I pause for a moment, a grin curls the corner of my lips.
"See now this... this is the second thing were gonna tick off from.... the quest list-"

She scuffs and rolls her eyes at me crossing her arms in an annoyed manner. "That is so cliche."

I drop my head staring at her through my eyebrows. Stepping closer to her. Practically towering over her. She nervously starts backing up, I've never really payed much attention to how big I am until now. Scared to make her scared of me. I don't want her to be scared of me. I want her to feel safe. To run to me the first chance she gets if something happens, which I pray it never does. Cause I can promise you that if I ever see somone touch this girl the next time thier eyes will open they'll be stairing up at a hospital ceiling. That is IF they're lucky enough to open thier eyes.

My hand wraps around thier waist. Pulling her in.... I slightly tilt my head leaning closer to her. Our lips almost touching "I got you and Caleb tickets to my first fight." And then like the asshole I am I pull away shoving the tickets between us.

A look of disappointment clouds her eyes.

"Huh..."

"Huh, what?" She spits at me annoyed.

"You do like me...."

Her cheeks turn red and she looks around the room, practically disappearing into her hoody.

"Maybe..."

I shake my head and lean in to kiss her again. "I like you too, Bree "