Star Trick: Deep Space Lyin' (The Misadventures of Kokichi and Kaito)

Kaito's Doggone Problem

      "I can't believe I gotta walk with you to get groceries," Kaito grumbled as he and Kokichi made their way to the grocery store. Kaito would usually drive his car, but Kokichi had stolen it and drove it into a tree thanks to a spider that crawled onto the steering wheel and caused Kokichi to freak out. Kaito took his car to Kazuichi Soda to get it fixed...for free.

   "Well, it wasn't MY fault," Kokichi replied. "If that spider hadn't shown up, your car would have been just fine, and I would have gotten away with taking your car."

   "You didn't just TAKE my car, you STOLE it, you little THIEF!" Kaito exclaimed all up in Kokichi's face. Kokichi just grinned and put his hands behind his head. 

   "Well, can you blame me? If I were to ask you if I could drive your car, you wouldn't let me," Kokichi pointed out. 

  "Because you don't even have a driver's license!" Kaito countered. "You can't just drive all willy-nilly just because you feel like it, Kokichi!" 

   "I drive because I'm able to and I'm good at it," Kokichi insisted. "Why should I need a dumb, little card that allows me to drive? That's not really fair. There are millions of people who have a license, and a bunch of them can't even drive properly. They need a little computer to tell them how!" 

  "If people didn't need licenses and they just drove however they felt like it, there'd be mass chaos!" Kaito said. 

   "Whatevs...at least it wouldn't be boring," Kokichi shrugged. Kaito scoffed and shook his head.

   "Anyways, let's just hurry up and get to the store," Kaito mumbled. "We need to get back home so I can take care of...something." Kokichi gave him an impish grin.

   "Ooohhhhh...you need to buy some laxatives for your CONSTIPATION problem, riiiiight?" Kokichi asked. 

  "Grgh...don't say that out loud, stupid!" Kaito shouted, shaking his fist in Kokichi's face. "Stop right here. I need to get the shopping list...NOT just for the...you-know-whats!" They stopped in front of a tall, wooden fence where Kaito took his wallet out to get the shopping list that was deeper inside his pocket. 

  "Okay, let's see what we got here," Kaito said, reading off the shopping list. "We need milk, eggs, cheese, Windex for Kirumi, shaving cream for Maki Ro-HEY!!!!" Kaito was interrupted by Kokichi suddenly taking Kaito's wallet and casually tossing it over the wooden fence. 

  "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!" Kaito roared. "DO YOU WANNA DIE?!?!"

  "Whoa, whoa, first of all, Kaito, that's Maki's catchphrase," Kokichi said. "Don't call me a thief for stealing your car if you're not gonna call yourself one for stealing Maki's catchphrase. Secondly, what's the problem? Just go get your wallet."

  "But WHY did you do that?!" Kaito asked again, shoving Kokichi back with one hand.

  "Who cares WHY I did it? Just go get it!" Kokichi demanded. 

  "Well, I can't!" Kaito said. "Don't you know whose house this is?"